You make my heartbeat
by GabyGmez
Summary: After many months of feeling things for her best friend Spencer decide to date Alex, to see if she can forget about Emily but she doesn't know she love her more then her own life she will have to pass many obstacles and the hardest will be herself.( i am sorry for any spelling mistakes it will have a few i am kind of new in this so don't be to hard on me) Enjoy
1. Chapter 1

(I**_ UPDATE THE CHAPTER BECAUSE OF THE MANY SPELLING MISTAKES IT HAD IT STILL HAVE A FEW BUT DON'T BE HARD ON ME PLEASE) _**

It was a Saturday around 4:00 in the afternoon. I saw the mix of emotions Emily was felling for the way she was staring at me, I didn't know…I mean do I really say all of that to Pam a supernatural rage emerge appear when Emily said "Mom I am gay" but it wasn't about her being gay, the rage I get was after I saw Pam reaction, she was gone hit Em I wasn't gone let that happen, so I hug Emily so strong I heard Pam screaming but didn't understand what she said because of the girl I was holding, who was tearing apart in front of me crying. I turn around to calm the aggressor but it was too late, I close my eyes and in a few milliseconds I feel burning all over my face then I taste iron in my mouth well my eyes were to afraid to open for a moment when they finally did I had my white tomboy shirt cover in blood, I see that the blood was coming out of my lower lip. After my sudden paralysis and what seems like an eternity of silence Pam said "Oh my god Spencer" Pam and I get along pretty good, in the 4 years I know Emily I didn't remember having argument with Pam I knew who she was, I knew she was extremely conservative but I never thought she would treat her own daughter like this. Well all of that was gone change tonight.

After I was a standing there without doing anything, watching the blood of my now split lip falling in the kitchen floor, I felt my body flare up at the level of the sun and I scream to her. " What is wrong with you, you are the worst of all scum how do you dare saying you're a mother, you don't deserve that title not even Emily who is the best I girl I know. Who will never disappoint her friends, or her family no matter what she's perfect, why are you acting like such a moron?. Doesn't mean anything if she's gay that's the way she is and nobody is gone change that you prideful idiot, you should be happy to have such an awesome girl for daughter her being gay, that doesn't change anything of her inside. You should be proud of having a brave daughter." I realize that after my screaming's where over everything was in peace, no more like in shock Emily's mom was laying on one of the chairs of the kitchen it almost look she was gone faint. I notice that she was way too far compared where it was when she hit me, almost like she back off when she saw me yelling. She had the right hand covering her face and the left one holding the chair so she won't fell down; I was so busy watching Pam reaction that I totally forgot about Em, who is behind me speechless and with tears falling over her cheeks.

I don't say anything but I hug her again this time with affection and delicacy for a moment until her mom said crying" I don't want to see you again Spencer and Emily you're disputing and foulness, I didn't have a daughter to get this I wish you were never born" she was too shock to think or do anything else so she stood up and walk upstairs.

I was going to say some more things to her in response to what she just told Emily I had my mouth all ready open and I was gone do it then I ponder this is not what Em needs right know, I took her hand and led her to the front door and drive her out of the house to my car I open the co-pilot door and say "Come on let's get out of here" I had the door open for a second when she said "I am sorry I didn't know she was…" I interrupted her before she finishes the sentence "don't worry" I said sadly, her eyes were still dropping tears she nodded stepping into the car.

I run to the driver seat and I see Pam in Emily's room sitting in the window trim, crying seeing how we drove away of the house. In the road Em didn't say a word but I was full of thinking the first thought it comes was Emily had taking me to her house for support, of the four of us Aria, Hanna, Emily, and me I was the strongest. Em was ready to come out of the closet to her mom and dad but her dad was still in Texas and wouldn't come for 2 more weeks, so she decided to tell her mom first and ask me if I could go with her so she would have someone to support her while telling her mom. I said yes she's my friend, that's when it hit the second thought I got all those feelings it felt so intense, I had never been that angry with anybody not even when Noel Aria's Ex boyfriend was been an ass to her I did punch him when he push Aria and call her a slut but it was different. Well thank god, she found Ezra Fitz he's a nice guy. What happen today was so new to me, I had this… I don't even know how to call it. I just can say it was powerful I question if I ruined everything, "If I didn't protect her would things turn out to be different? " no I don't regret protecting her, now I know I would give my life for this girl buy why do I feel this way? Emily paused my mind and stop all those ideas and questions. I was afraid to what I was gone get if I keep thinking, but then does this mean I fell things for Em. No she doesn't need this right now how I was capable of thinking in this way, when she was felling like everything was falling apart. No I just need to be here for her, "God Spence we need to go to the hospital! " Em said. A felling of extreme panic comes right through my body and I said breathless and looking straight to her beautiful brown eyes "Are you hurt? Are you okay? "

Em: "No Spence look your lip doesn't stop bleeding! "I notice that her face is confused, because of the way I ask her if she was hurt then she seems to realize something I don't and she smile in a way that I have always loved that sexy, flirty way, biting a little bit of her lip.

Spence: "Oh… yeah don't worry I am alright"to be honest I didn't remember the lip until know that I see the stained white shirt, now the blood has the double side then before and I said "what are you laughing about?." I was smiling too with the famous Hastings simile Emily found so cocky but so sexy, Em smile every time I did it she told me one's how much she like it.

Em: "For nothing and stop doing that because that smile is not gone work Spencer, you are going to the hospital you need stitching" she's laughing because I role my eyes gazing the road I get frustrated, she loves to win the arguments she has with me.

Spence "Yeah sure you love it who wouldn't love my Hastings charming smile?" so I turn the car left and head to the hospital. And I heard her laughing louder when I turn to see her she calls me idiot,god her laugh is music to my ears she's perfect she's so beautiful long brown hair is falling perfect over her shoulders her skin is so soft, her lips are like those pink roses you see on a garden and want to feel the petals on your lips but you're afraid that you may shatter them that's how her lips are. Her eyes can leave you breathless there so gorgeous I love the way she sees me. I get lost in her, "Spence what are you doing? were here lets go"she said, I almost pass the parking spot of the hospital "Yes boss am coming" she looks at me with a cat look and I laugh so hard everybody that was there put their eyes on the crazy girl that is laughing outside of the ER. Emily grabs my hand and pulls me through the door, the ER room its really lonely I guess in Rosewood there's not many work. I see a doctor coming he seems to be young tall with short hair and brown eyes and short brown hair. "Hello my name is Wren how are you?" " Hey am Spencer and this is Emily nice too meet you" I said he has a British accent what makes him even more cute, "Let me take a look at that lip please" I rise my head and then he leaves the room saying he will be back in a second I look at Em who is standing by my side holding my hand while am seating on a ER bed I am normally so cocky and arrogant I win in every fight in every tennis play in everything I do I need to be the best, because that's the way you need to be in the Hastings family. We never lose that's why my natural way is, to be always so flirty with everyone, you could see any member of family smiling at you and you would swear he's flirting with you, no matter if you're a man or a women that's according to my dad the Hastings charming. We are so full of ourselves, you will never see a Hastings crying you can say the most painful things and we save everything inside so everyone can see how strong we are, if you cry that's according to my mom weakness. Emily and pretty much all my friends know how my family and I are, sometimes I hate been a freaking Hastings. If I was any other of my family I would removed Emily's hand of mine, but I like how it feels knowing she is here for me she is having my back. I feel like my heart is gone pop out of my chest when I feel her touching me, Wren comes back with stitching instruments in a metal table with wheels, "Okay where ready let me see again" I rise again my head and hear how Em said "Be strong " and grabs my hand with more strength, "So how did you get this slip lip? If I can know of course " I try to see Emily with the corner of my eye and I see her looking down, about to cry again and I quickly say "It was in a fight I can't stand when someone say something bad about someone I can give my life for " in that jiffy I saw Em who is looking at me very concentrate like she was thinking something she rushes to look down when our eyes meet and gets blushing in the cutest way ever. I laugh and Wren said "What what did I say?" I stop laughing because it hurts me for all the stitches and the needle "Nothing it's nothing" I said with a smile in my face "You have a beautiful girlfriend I understand why you defend her we finish you can lower your head " those words took me for surprise I really like how it sound, I turn my head to Emily and I saw her bashful and blushing ten times more then she was. She look so beautiful. It took me a minute to say to Wren we were just friends "We are just friends Wren, but she did fight because of me "Emily said, there was a tone of repentance and pain in her voice. I just stared at her while Wren gave me a painkiller "I am so sorry I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable I will stop talking". he said in ashamed cute way. I get up from the bed with Em by my side and we follow Wren so he can give me more painkillers for my home "You would be taking lisalgil 2 times a day for at least 3 days okay" Wren speak I nodded and say thanks, I take the little blue bag and head for the car with Emily.

Ones at my home I put the bag beside the coffeemaker along with my car keys and the house keys I take Emily to the dinner table "Want anything to eat or drink? Em" I ask her with exhaustion in my voice. "No thanks Spence I just want to sleep." I saw the sadness in her eyes, how can anybody hurt something so perfect so beautiful how can anyone think it's right to make her cry for me it's the worst crime someone can make. I can't imagine me hurting Emily.

She stand up and walk upstairs to the guest room I stay a few minutes downstairs thinking I would give everything and everything I am for her to be happy. I also thought it was so wrong what I was felling, I had a boyfriend his name is Alex, I am such a bitch I start dating him because I was felling things for Emmy so I start to date him to see if the feelings stop, It has been mouths since I feel things for Em but it doesn't matter, his the one I am supposed to be thinking about, but it feels so right when Emily is near me. As am laying down to the cooling it would be so easy to go and call Alex, and tell him to come to my house but I don't want to. I want to believe this is just a little crush but that would be lying to myself and to Alex, well I am doing it all ready by thinking I will feel the same way for Alex. I am so afraid I can lose her or that maybe things won't work out between us, I am afraid the reality this mean oh, god my friends and family. No I will keep it to myself it's just a crush it will pass. I go upstairs to check on Emily, I get to the door of the guest room that is half closed I knock and enter and see Em lying in the bed, hugging a pillow, I didn't know if she was sleep, because she was giving her back to the door. I enter really slowly to see her face cover in tears everything inside me fell down I sat on the corner of the bed beside her feet "It's all going to be okay Em I am here for you Aria and Hanna too, you got to be strong don't let anyone say you are not worth. That's bullshit." Emily sat with her back to the headboard of the bed, she look me in the eyes and I couldn't take it. Her brown eyes were full of tears her voice broke every time she try to speak, it was so torturer seeing her and knowing I cannot do anything just help her unburden by talking to her "What the hell!, Spencer why would you say to my mom she doesn't deserve me as a daughter?" Em said crying and with pain in her voice "I am so sorry I talk to your mother that way, but she don't have the right to do what she did or to tell you all of that I am sorry Em but, I wasn't gone let her treat you that way, no one has the right to treat you like that, don't be mad at me please."

"I am not mad at you; I just needed to know that's all. Spence I am sorry my mother hit you, I couldn't stop her and now your hurt because of me." "Em it doesn't matter i will stop everybody and everything that try's to hurt you." Her tears where slowly fading away I contemplate her for a long while, and I moved forward to where she sat I could almost touch the headboard of the bed with my hand, my heart start to beat faster because Emily was so close to me. I could feel her waist against mine even do I am sit down on the edge of the bed, I move my arm around her waist and squeeze it with tenderness and move my head in front of her. Now I am so close to her I practically can feel her breath in my face, I thought to myself I am playing with fire but I just feel so good to be with her. she's only watching me with those eyes that I am falling in love with, she's seeing me with that face you get when you give a gift that a person really likes those shiny eyes and that smile, well that's the face Emily had only a billion times more beautiful. We were there like stones none of us were moving, I was looking her a centimeters of her lips when she under the gaze. I was so scared she was going to cry again I rise my left hand and put it below her chin grabbing it, my right arm is still holding her waist then I lift her chin until her eyes meet mine. "I hope you see what I do, I hope you see how perfect you are. I am so glad I have you with me, I don't even want to think of having to lose you, Em your heart is the most beautiful thing someone can have you are so especial you don't know how much. Live Emily just live be who you are without having to worry about what people say or think, it doesn't matter as long as you're happy, and you'll see your mom would come around and I bet you she's regretting everything she said beside I will be here for you forever and you will always can count on me."

I get a little distance from her face and take back my hand from her chin,she has an expression really hard to read I usually can read her but not this time her expression was like a mix of happiness, confusion and peacefulness I stay there studying her face, well more the studying just thinking how someone can be so beautiful. Everything I learn about love I learn it from Emily.

Suddenly Em pulls me on a hug, it was the best hug I ever felt it was tender and soft it felt like a place where you can go when you have a problem and when you get there it disappeared, it felt like I didn't care if the world end it if I was in her arms, I didn't want to think about anything else other than putting my arms around her and don't letting go of her till she ask me to. I want that moment to last forever, my heart was going crazy I felt fire all over my body. "Spence thanks, thanks for all you are especial to me you're my best friend promise me you will never leave me, no matter how angry we can get or how many fights we have."Emily said with fear in her tone "I promise you I will never leave you until you ask me I promise to fight for you with my life and to protect you. You will always have me,I wish i could take your pain away, I wish you to be happy every single day. Em your save with me I am gone take care of you don't worry now." I press my body stronger against her's I am not gone fail not to this promise, that's why I have to keep everything inside at least until I know what Em want's. I thought I couldn't do it anymore I wouldn't have lose the control, I needed to get a distant from her perfect and soft tan skin from her smell that was making me crazy that strawberry shampoo with chlorine from the pool, it may sound horrible but for me was the hottest smell ever. I couldn't take her perfect smile I needed to get distance or I would risk breaking my promise that same night, I get up from the bed and she accommodates herself in the bed, saying only good night. She was ready for some sleep, so I put the big blanket of the bed over her body and give her a kiss in the cheek. I walk out of the room and I half close the door.

When I enter my room I put my pajamas, a white long sleeve shirt and black Calvin Klein boxer. I am exhausted I need to sleep I notice it was past midnight when I watch my clock, I get to my bed let my body hit the mattress, I was about to fall asleep when my phone ring I look it and say "Well who the fuck call's at 1: am in the morning", I answer the phone pissed off I just want this day to be over. "Hello!", "Hello! Babe I just want to tell you I love you I am sorry I woke you up; you never sleep at this hour you're usually studying or reading it's everything okay? " Oh my god, Alex was calling me I didn't even know how I was gone see him face to face on Monday for our date that Alex have been planning for mouths, he was going to take me to New York . "Hey Alex I am good just tired look honey why don't I call you tomorrow okay." I hang up the phone and I put it on my table night and my eyes begin to fill with tears, this was to much for me to take it. I didn't want to hurt Alex he was a great guy but what am I suppose to do I can't say anything to Emily or to Hanna and Aria, I was alone in this one. I roll in my bed to face a picture of the four of us we are all together in the lake house of my Nana, I am on the right side of Em all of us are facing the camera with the lake in the back, we seem happy It was so easy a few years ago. I put down the picture, and roll again in the bed I feel sick of myself how am I thinking in Em like this when she's so vulnerable what is wrong with me?. I feel the water of me eyes falling down to the pillow, I need think of other stuff I think about, how cute and nice guy that Wren is and why would he be working in such small town. I didn't know when I fall sleep but I was glad I did.

I woke up at ten o'clock in the morning with light of the sun hitting my face, I felt like I drank all the night I had a headache.

I get out of the bed and walk to the guest room to see if Emily is still sleep, I open the door I see that Em is still sleep in my female boyshorts underwear and my lacrosse shirt, that shirt doesn't fit me anymore buy in Em the shirt did not cover the half of her stomach and part of her back she look so hot, with the sun light illuminating her face. I close the door to walk out to the kitchen and prepare the breakfast, I get downstairs and I take the coffeemaker the pan for pancakes and turn on the fire I open the refrigerator to take the eggs and the things that I need, every time I cook the aroma of food spreads through the house. My mom and dad are out of the country and they will be back in three weeks that would give me some more time to get everything straight."Mm...That's smells good Spence" Emily was behind me y turn to see her she's in the top of the stairs looking me she looks so cute she comes and seat's in the chair of the table waiting for me to finish "Hey how did you sleep? I am making pancakes hope you're hungry do you want coffee?" I asked her showing her the empty coffeemaker, "No offense but I prefer to do it myself, your coffee Spence is not the best" she has that mocking playful tone I love "Oh no!, you did not just taunt my coffee!." I told, teasing her "Oh yeah, I did! It's horrible" she responds me laughing and pushing me, stealing the coffeemaker of my hand to prepare the coffee herself.

"Oh come on! your just a rookie you don't know what good coffee is." I said laughing out loud and standing beside her to finish making the food, she pats me behind my head. "Ouch!" I complained and that made her smile, she has this cute dimples in the cheeks and perfect lips curved in a seductive and cute way that made her look so gorgeous and so sexy, she was looking me with her brown eyes but today they seemed almost like liquid honey I knew the pain of yesterday had dropped, or at least for a moment. Her voice was calm and her body had loosened the tension it had. I love to see her happy "So Em what do you want to do today?" I couldn't take one more second looking at her I remove my gaze from her and take the pancakes put them in two dishes "I can go for some pizza with you and the girls later, Would you like that? Also i really don't want to stay at my home till dad come's. Spence can I stay here for a while and can you take me home for some clothes? My mom is working so she wont be there" I saw her waiting for my answer thoughtfully, I didn't wanna upset her so I needed to think very carefully what I was saying, I was afraid to say something that would bothered her. "Yeah you can stay here as long as you want, and pizza that sound's good" we sat in silence to eat, I was looking my plate that was now empty and dirty I didn't want to rise my eyes to see her so I limit to play around the dish with my fork. "Em did you like it?" I break the uncomfortable silence "Yes it was delicious and did you like the rookies coffee?" She speaks I just I nod and watch the empty cup, I act like I was thinking and finally say with a smile "Well Emmy not bad at all."

Of everyone we knew I was the only one with the right to call her "Emmy" no one else was allowed and she was the only one that could call me "Spence" not even Alex or the girls call me like that because I always get mad but with Em I actually like it, I love when Em call's me like that. "Spence I am gone go and take a shower"she said getting up after we wash the dishes. "Okay Em me too, see you in a bit" she nod.

I walk to my bathroom with baby steps and heard the room guest shower turn on, and the image of Em in my sleeping clothes gets into my mind she was looking so incredibly stunning this morning. I get to my bathroom I close the door and I put the locked, I take my shirt off and my black bra I turn on the shower I leave the water fall for a moment letting the steam fill the room I start thinking out loud "How long has this been going on? Why didn't I realize it I mean am I been in lov-What? No it can be am I in love with my best friend? it's so wrong, what did she do to me?. I've been thinking of Emily in this way for so long this isn't just after yesterday it has been several months since I feel this, but yesterday it all came crashing me to me when I saw Emily's mom attacking her. I must be worst then a monster how can I be with Alex hurting him without him knowing, I didn't care if he broke up with me in fact I was wishing he would it will make things much easier. Alex had never made me feel nervous or make my whole body burn, I hadn't ever felt my heart so alive so warm I can hear him beating when Emily is close to me I can hear him screaming her name and trying to get out to be with her heart." I enter the shower closing my eyes and letting the water hit my face I get the shampoo and the soap I begin to bathe. When I finish I take towel and wrap myself. I get dress inside the bathroom I put my white color Tank shirt my brown leather jacket and a pair of black leggings with the blue with black Supra sneakers . I brush my hair and I dry him, I wash my teeth. I put a little rimel in my eyelashes; I use hot pink lipstick and black eyeliner. I go out of the bathroom and Emily is dressing in my room she was wearing a dark blue roll-up sleeve plaid shirt a really small skintight denim jean shorts with my light blue supra sneakers, she had sexy smoky makeup. She still had her hair damp, "Do I look so bad?" she said looking playfully that I was staring her, how do I tell her she's the most beautiful and perfect girl I ever saw how do I explain to her she looks gorgeous and that she's so breath taking, that she is perfect that is so incredible that I have to pinch me to see if she's really there to make sure I am not dreaming. Her beauty was so such that you just you missed in her for moments, it was unbelievable that a person would be so beautiful.

"What?" I said to her a little bit dazed "Do I look so bad?" She repeats with amusingly curious in her face because of my reaction to her question "You look incredible Emmy ready to go?" I tell her while I grab her hand and I lead her to my car. "Yeah lets go to pick up the clothes before my mom get's home." we go outside and we get to the car when we enter Em said it will also bring the things from school, her books and what she needed to go to school. When we got to Emily's house I remember i left my cell on my night table last night, "Wait here, it will just be a minute." I watch her get out of the car to run across the front door,I waited for 20 minutes and i saw Em coming out of the door with a big backpack heading straight to my car. I stare at her and I made her my Hastings charming smile, I loved the idea of having Em in my house for 2 weeks. She open the back car door to put the backpack in then she gets in the car. She turn to see me and said "Why are you looking me like that?" she blushes and try to contain her nervous laugh, "Can you handle 2 weeks with me Emmy?" "Yeah sure but i am not gone be Watson, Spence." she said laughing, "Emily Fields are you saying I am Sherlock Holmes?" I tell her with fake anger "Ooh...no never Sherlock." I see her and she's putting the radio, a song start to sound it was Duane-I Know I try so hard to not pay attention to the song but I fail. I knew Em loves R&B music so i start to sing it.

we can fight  
we can fuss  
we can kiss  
we make up  
we make love  
i know we've, always been that way  
nothings changed  
i was bored  
you were hurt  
wantin more  
i ignored, and now we've gone our sepeate ways

now, i, try to figure when we went wrong  
and now, i, am thinkin how could i do you so wrong  
and now i, im, tryna get you out of my head  
and now, i know, that that will probably never happen

i know, shes the only woman for me  
i know i was wrong when i just let you leave  
i try datin them other girls  
but they just confirm it all more  
my heart just keeps tellin me fix what i've done  
i know

sittin here  
missin you  
want you back  
wish i know  
where you were  
so i could try to explain  
i was wrong  
couldn't see  
love was right in front of me  
cant believe, that i just let you walk away

now, i, try to figure when we went wrong  
and now, i, am thinkin how could i do you so wrong  
and now, im, tryna get you out of my head  
and now, i know, that that will probably never happen

i know, shes the only woman for me  
i know i was wrong when i just let you leave  
i try datin them other girls  
but they just confirm it all more  
my heart just keeps tellin me fix what i've done

i know, that its hard  
for you to see this through  
me geting up with you  
but im trying to be  
honest, realizing my mistakes  
hopin that its not too late  
and if it is, i'll wait

i know, shes the only woman for me  
i know i was wrong when i just let you leave  
i try datin them other girls  
but they just confirm it all more  
my heart just keeps tellin me fix what i've done (x3)

When the song end it we were already at my house, while I was singing Em was listening to me. Only the girls knew i could sing but i rarely do it,"Spence...it's beautiful, you sing so good tell me again why don't you wanna sing?." Emily said I was taking down her backpack from my car, I open the door of my house and I turn to see her in the eyes and say "You know I just sing to the person who means the world to me." she gaze me but she doesn't say anything, I see how she bit her lip and puts her lock of brown hair behind her ear. I removed my eyes of her's my heart start's to beat hard it almost hurt's my hands begin to sweat and my body begins to feel like fire. "I forgot to tell you i send a message to the girls that we will see them at the pizzeria just let me take your backpack to the room" I watch how she also take her eyes of mine she nodded, and I rush upstairs to leave the back I pick my cell I look at it and there's four messages three from Aria and one from Hanna.

Hanna's message:

Spencer where are you? My butt is getting the chairs shape and Aria doesn't stop talking about Ezra. Am not like that with Caleb or am I? Hurry up!

Hanna has always been so clumsy, she was hilarious but Aria was more of the spontaneous one.

Aria's message

"Hey where are you?"

"Hurry up! Hanna is complaining about everything even the old lady that passes us by with an iPod."

"I am starving if you don't get here in five minutes will start to eat"

I put the phone in my pocket and run to the stairs I stop at the first ladder to hear Em at her phone, "No..mom I am not coming home till dad get's here beside you said you prefer me death don't you. it's the first time I am disgusted of knowing your my mother, It's enough, I am gonna by happy for myself. I am not gonna make you proud being someone am not bye. see in 2 weeks."

I get downstairs and see Emily standing there, with a serious look she wasn't sad it was more like a rage one, she was so pissed i could see it from miles away."Em are you okay? what happen?" I said really scared, "Yeah Spence its nothing, I had enough of my mom that's all come on Sherlock the girls are waiting"she said with bittersweet laughter walking to the door. "Okay just let me take my magnifying glass and my hat Watson." I said laughing out loud.


	2. Chapter 2

**(look guys I am so sorry this chapter is short, but I promise the 3one will be a roller-costar. It will be mind blowing you'll see. but the way, Thanks for taking a minute of you time to read and follow my stories it means the world to me.) **

When we got to the restaurant the girls were eating already, Emily was quiet and distant she didn't speak too much on the way here. I really wish none of the girls say anything out of place, but knowing how Han was, I haven't had much of a hope. "Well thanks guys, for waiting!_" I said standing in front of the table they were sitting, seeing Aria biting a little piece of the pizza._"I told you we were hungry and what in the world happen to your lip Spencer._" Aria said surprised. Hanna was seating on the left side of the table and Aria on the right, I move the chair on Hanna's side so Emily can sit down. _"Hey we have a gentlewoman over her, but are you gone tell us what happen?_" _"Han I love you but shhh…please and don't worry guys it's okay_" I said sitting beside Aria, she is looking me with worry and sorrow _"how is that you never do that sweet cute things for me? And come on Spencer why won't you tell us what happen?_" she said _"Okay guys, can we please leave the whole lip and gentlewoman topic behind?_" I see how Emily that is in front of me gets that sad look she had when her mom hit me and said all those hurtful things._ "Okay we are not gonna ask if you don't wanna tell us. _So how did it go yesterday? Em, did you tell your mom? What did she say?" Hanna asked Emily. I kick Hanna under the table, Aria somehow connects my lip with Emily's reaction to all of the questions, she puts a face of heartache "Hanna, you have all the subtlety of a hand grenade". I said a little mad, Hanna role her eyes _"She didn't take it well isn't she, did she hit you Spencer? Look how you have your lip?_" Aria said looking my lower lip I see how Em tri_e_s to hide the tear that fall down her cheek but I was the only one who saw it, what make_s_ it harder to know she's getting hurt. Everything came so fast in my memory. The hit, the blood, seeing Emily crying, me yelling all those things to Pam, I can feel how Emily's heart is cracking inside; I just wanted to get away with Em to a place where both of us could be happy together. _

I grab Em's hand under the table and she instantly looks me, I smile and give her a look of hope, tenderness and love, and she seems to calm down a little bit "Okay Em I am lost did your mom hit Spencer because your gay and you didn't stop her?_" Hanna yells _"Hanna!_ Here, put something in your mouth besides your foot." I said to Hanna while I pass her the plate full of pizza that the waitress had put me in the table. I press Emily's hand harder, and I see how a little sad smile appears for a second in her mouth. _"No its okay Spence they are right. When I told her she freak out and try to hit me but Spencer cover me and take the hit for me, my mom said to me a few ugly things and Spencer response for me. I was to paralyze to do anything and my mom well she throw us out of the house._"_ Em said "Do you have where to stay Em? And what are you going to do?_" Aria said with a serious look _"Yeah I will stay with Spence till my dad gets here and I really don't know, for now I just want to believe everything will get better ones my dad comes._" _I saw how she was holding everything inside, and how she won't let herself cry. This time Emily changes her hand position, and now it was her who was holding my hand.

Wayne Emily's dad was that dad you sometimes want for father, that person who never lets something bad happen to his close ones. That person that is there for you no matter what, I knew he would help Pam try to come along."Oh my god, Em I am so sorry_! It's all going to be okay" Aria said, Hanna keep staring at me "_Ohh…I am sorry guys and Spencer you were so brave defending Emily I wish Caleb had a fight for me._" _"You did not just say that!_" Aria said _w_e were all seeing Hanna with a funny expression "What! It's romantic." Hanna said defensively, we all laugh at the clumsy girl._

_Emily takes her hand of me to eat her pizza, "So what are we gonna do today?_" _I ask to change the topic so Em could have a little air. "Well we can go for a few movies to rent and watched them in your house Spencer, and stay for a sleeping party." Hanna said, that sound like gold I love to be with all of them. "Yeah I love to do it we will rent 3 movies for person? If we rent more we won't have time to watch them." I said looking at Emmy with a smile. Hanna nodded and Aria said "Sure thing, I want the Fifty Shades of Grey Trilogy" with a naughty glance, I laugh in a way that made the girls laugh as well "Uhh…you dirty girl! I see Ezra is working that bed up. Well I want the Hunger Games." Hanna said "Oh...you know he is" Aria laugh nervously._

"When did you become such a pervert Aria?" I said laughing surprisingly "Well I want Facebook, The Blind Side and Sherlock Holmes a Game of Shadows." When I said the last movie I saw the serious face of Em change, into the happy roguish face I love so much. She gaze me with a warm temptation look and then gave me that smile that drives me crazy, she was biting so seductively her lip with her eyebrow lift it in a sexy flirty way, putting a strand of hair behind her ear. I made her my Hastings charming smile and I wink her my eye, she blushes and laugh in a sexy inviting way. After a few seconds of staring each other in an intense manner, Hanna interrupts "Okay what is going on between you two?" She said with a big smile "Okay what are you talking about? Okay I want Let me in, Halloween, Vanishing on 71h Street and Spence pick the last one I want." Emily said blushing and looking at me with a cute smile, I laugh and then I see Hanna with a funny twisted smile. "Okay Han you are applying in my list for the person who can say more undue things in less than 5 minutes" I said "You'll see, I will win the number 1 spot in that category of that list of yours" Hanna said "Ohh…my god she's mocking me, Han stop trying to get in my nerves." I said laughing uncontrollably. Hanna role her eyes and made me a wag gesture "Well you two stop fighting, and come on before the store close." Aria said walking through the door way.

The girls walk all the way to the pizzeria except for me and Emmy, so we all went in my car. In the rent store we all pick up the movies, Aria and Hanna gave me there movies and said they were gonna take the clothes they needed to school. I give them my car keys so they could go faster. "Here Hanna take my car so you can go faster, see you at my house don't worry I walk home. Em do you wanna accompany them?" I said turning to her "No don't worry I walk with you." My house didn't was so far from the store but Aria and Hanna's were. "See you later then" Aria said walking outside with Hanna. I turn to pay all the rent movies with Emily by my side, the guy how was behind the counter watch me interest while he puts the movies in a black bag."Hey baby what's your name would you go out with me?" I didn't understand, the guy wasn't ugly at all, but he disgusts me so much. Emily was so uncomfortable and angry, she was looking at him like she was gonna kill him. "Sorry but I am in love with someone." I snatch the movies from his hand I toke Emily walking out of the place, when we were walking through the sidewalk I saw her looking me surprise. "You're in love with someone and you didn't tell me? Is Alex of course" She try to force a smile "Not really I think we are not gonna work out. I don't feel anything for him anymore." I said staring thoughtful at the street. "Ohh...I am so sorry it didn't work, and you're in love with someone else? Is that the reason you're gonna break up with him?" Emily said glancing at me; we were turning the last block to get to my home when we hear my car behind us.

When we saw Aria was in the drive seat with Han beside her, they stop so we can get in the car. I really was glad they appear. I wouldn't be able to answer Em's question so I was praying she forgot about the whole thing. When we got to my home I went directly to the barn to leave everything ready for tonight, while the girls leave there things in my room. I put the snacks, the drinks and everything we could possibly need in a big table; I throw this big mattress in the barn floor where the four of us could fit in. "Can I help you?" Emily asked from the barn door "Sure Emmy" I said passing her the bed linen, I didn't know what I was gonna do if she asked me about who I was in love with. Okay I couldn't deny it more, I was in love with the beautiful girl I had in front. The things she makes me feel are so new the fact that she could raise my heart beats to a million for minute just with a look. That she could make me feel like I am in a dream when she hugs me or that she could make me feel in haven when she touch me, feeling like I am gonna go flying if she doesn't grab my hand strong. I realize I was gonna be in love with my Emily forever. "It's everything okay? You've been quite" She asked with a worry expression, she pulls me out of my thoughts. "Yeah I am okay" I said forcing a smile Hanna and Aria get to the barn, they run to the mattress that is lying down in the floor. The two girls fall letting themselves hit the mattress. After Em and I seat down too we start talking about everything, we decide the order of the movies we were gonna start watching. First Hanna's movies second Aria's third my movies, we left Emily's for the last ones because they were all of horror. I put the movie in the DvD, I had this huge plasma TV that I asked my dad to put in the barn for this occasions. We settled in the big mattress Hanna and Aria were in the left side with a large bowl of popcorn, Emmy and I were in the right side with our own bowl of popcorn. Aria order a pizza and we start watching the movies after the second movie of the Hunger Games my phone rang; I get up so I won't bother them and go outside the barn.

"Hello" I answer "Hey Spencer I am outside of your home" Alex said on the other side of the line, I was so mad what the hell is he doing here I told him this day was for the girls and I. I couldn't do this anymore "Okay wait am coming" I run to the front door and I open it, I saw Alex standing there with a bouquet of red roses, he take a step forward forcing me to take a step back. He leaves the flowers in the kitchen table, and he gently pushes me against the wall. He kisses me and I receive the kiss with effort but when he tries to insert his tongue in my mouth, I push him soft to get him away from me and I wipe my lips. "Now what? You don't want me to kiss you!" He yells backing off and looking me, I walk to the table and I lay against it. "No it's not that" I said trying to find the correct words "So what then!? You know what! You are not gonna see your friends again because they are changing you, it's them or me you dicide" I laugh cynically I take his roses and throw them to him "You're not gonna control me, get the fuck out of my house. You cannot put me to choose between you and my best friends, I am sick of you and your attitude I am so over you." I saw how he turns his head so I wouldn't see him crying, I felt a little bad but this is enough I didn't want him with me anymore."Okay if that's what you want you can forget about me, and don't ever talk to me again you stop exiting for me." He said getting out of the house, I take my phone out of my pocket to erase his number when I finish, I turn to head back to the barn but I see Aria standing in the back door that leads to the barn.

"Ohh…my Spencer I am sorry he's an idiot" Aria said, she walks to me and hugs me. I hug her pressing her with softness "How much did you hear?" I asked her while we sit in the living room "Enough, I know you don't love him that's obvious. You are in love with someone else, you've been different these pass months, at first I didn't know why but I understood when I saw that new sparkle on your eyes. You lose yourself for moments like you were thinking about something incredibly important, I have never seeing you like this neither Hanna. We know this person is the one for you, just for the way you act when you hear a love song or when you talk about Alex. We knew you weren't talking about Alex, we are not idiots Spen, Hanna and I have been trying to find out who it is for so long. We were afraid to mention something to you, we thought you would deny it and get angry at us" she said with a little bit of worry and confession in her voice. What she was saying, did it mean Em knew too? My friends know me more than I thought, well of course there my best friends they know everything about me like I know everything about them.

I think of these pass months, Am I been in love with Emily since I know her, and I didn't know it. I was such a moron, I wish I realized sooner that wow; I don't even know where to start. That she makes my heart pound so fast that I can't even catch my breath. That she gives me goose bumps all over my body and that she's all I think about. I've never had a love like this before and I've never felt this way. I want to keep her forever. Here I am, with my heart and soul ready to be her everything, to give her what she wants and needs. I need to tell her that I love every single part of who she is, that I am here waiting and when the time is right. I will accept her as my wife and spend forever and eternity in her arms. That's my dream. I don't know how or when it start but if I say something I'm afraid it might be the end of our friendship, or if I'm lucky, the realization of my dreams, which is for her to love me as I love her. I told myself I might as well take the risks because it's the only remedy I know that could unburden this feeling I've been keeping ever since. I know she'll find it hard to believe me if I tell her now how much she means to me. I could hardly understand what I feel for her, knowing how to endure those long sleepless nights just thinking only in Emily. I've never been like this before. I just don't know how to pour out my feelings for her. I wanted to find the perfect words to make Emmy realize how much I need her and love her, but words continue to elude me, what would they be? Something poetic? I'm sure it should be heartfelt and out of the ordinary. I'm afraid it's no use; every time I gaze her, the words come out the same in mind… I love you!

"So Spencer are you going to tell me who the guy is?" Aria said seeing that I was thinking about that person she wanted to know about "It's complicated Aria, this is not a simple crush I really love this person. I am afraid if I say something I'll lose it all, you don't even know how hard this is. It's wrong Aria but I don't care anymore." I said giving up I couldn't take having this entire thing inside and not telling anyone, "Spencer loving someone that much couldn't be that wrong, I knew this wasn't a college crush you've been acting weird. You've been so distance, but why didn't you tell us I mean I know you were scared but we can help you. Come on tell me I promise I will be here for you no matter who this person is, if it makes you happy then its okay with me." Aria said grabbing my hand I knew she knows how important this was for me.

"Aria…." I said unsure what I was gonna say, she glance me with despair and anxiety. "I am in love with Emily I always loved her it's just now that I realize it, Aria I love her with all my heart, I will never stop loving her. She is my world and soul, the air that I breathe each day. She is my life, my everything. My heart skips a beat every time her name is mentioned or I see her face. She's the one I have been waiting for all of my life. I pray every night that she will someday be the one I wake up to in the morning. Without her I wouldn't be complete. I asked her every day in my heart and mind, to please spend the rest of her life with me. She's in my thoughts, my dreams, and every breath I take. She is the reasons for my smiles. She is the reasons for my tears, and the reasons for my fears. Emily is my love, the reason I wake up each day, and sleep each night. She is my reason for living my life. Emmy is my love, the only reason for my happiness. I want her; I need her; I love her! Life would be incomplete without her now. Life would be unbearable. My love for her, it's for always!" I see how Aria gets up and pulls me into a hug she was hugging me tight "Oh…my god Spencer I am sorry I didn't saw how you feel, its okay you never have to feel fear for telling me something. I will be here for you no matter what; I will fight by your side even if we have to fight against the whole world." I hug her like I never hug her before "Thanks Aria just thanks" I said hugging her even tighter we hear someone coming through the back door and we turn to see how was there.

Hanna was standing in the door with her face full of tears; her tears were so touching that she could make any person cry in that moment. She rushes to stand in front of me, she punch me in my shoulder "You idiot! Why didn't you tell me you feel this way, you are such an idiot." She punches me again in the shoulder and then pulls me into a hug. I put my arms around her I knew she heard. I really felt bad for making Hanna cry, she was the sentimental of the group "I am so sorry Han I was scared forgive me" She hug me harder and say yes. Aria was watching us about to cry also, so I speak so it didn't happen "Can we keep this as a secret?" I asked holding Hanna in my arms and looking to Aria she nods and Hanna steps back staring at me with red eyes and nods too "Why did you two come here?" I asked remembering they were supposed to be in the barn. "I came here to pick up the pizza I order." Aria said walking outside to bring back the pizza. "And you Han?" "Seeing why you and Aria were taking so long." Hanna said still mad I hug her again and said I would never keep a secret from her again. Hanna calms a little bit down. "Okay I forgive you but don't do it again. And you what were you doing here?" I nod to her first request. "Breaking up with Alex" I said, Hanna punches me again. "That's for dating someone else knowing how you feel about Em." I nod again giving her the reason; Aria comes back again to the living room "We better hurry up to the barn before Emily comes." Aria said with the two pizza boxes in the hands. When we enter the barn again the last movie of Aria was ending."What took you so long guys? And who was calling you Spence it's everything okay?" Emily said lying down in the mattress watching us, we lay down on the places we had before "The pizza guy got here late, and it was Alex he was outside we broke up. Don't worry it's okay, actually its better." I said lying down beside her "Okay if you say so" She said with a big smile in her face. We eat, drink, talk and had fun all night, while I fell more in love with the girl who was beside me, we all fall sleep by the time Emily's last movie was on.

In the morning I was the first one to wake up; I had Emily's face in front of me. I pass my fingers through her cheeks I whisper as low as I can, "good morning my love." After a few seconds I get up and I wake up the girls, so we can get ready to go to school. Aria and Emily shower in the house while Hanna and I shower in the barn "So are you gonna tell Emily, Spen." Hanna said ones we got ready "I don't know Han, it's not that easy" I said heading to the house, when I enter with Hanna following me I saw Emily coming downs the stair with Aria behind, Emily was looking lovely. She was so gorgeous, and there I was looking at the girl who took my heart without her knowing. "She is beautiful." I whisper "Spencer…" Hanna whisper with compassion and so low I was the only one that can hear it. "Let's go or we are gonna be late again" Aria said, we all get in the car and I start driving letting the road lead me. Now the girls knew and they accept it, this would make things much better. I love Emmy, and I would make everything in my power to make her happy.


	3. Chapter 3

**( like i promise here it is. Guys thank you really i love each one of you thanks for follow and read my stories i don't get tired of telling you how awesome you are. thanks really thank you. ) **

We were almost at school; the car was in death silence. I think all of us were immersed in our thoughts, the music was on it was really loud but I didn't pay attention to what songs were playing. I was staring the road and the people that pass us by, until one of the songs I had in my IPod start to blare. My hands start to stiffen around the wheel, and my body went cold and tense, when the music of Elliott Yamin- I can't keep loving you, begin to sound.

How do I get close  
When she looks like an angel  
A moment of her time,  
Just seems impossible to me

It's hard to find the words,  
To get to know this stranger  
I'm scared of what she'll say  
If what I say sounds incomplete

And it feels like we belong together  
Can someone tell me where do I start?

'Cause I can't keep on, feeling the way I do  
I can't keep on, hiding my heart from you  
I got to say something before  
Someone else comes through  
I can't keep on loving you  
From a distance

She's always on my mind,  
There's no room left for thinking  
I'm tired of waiting slowly fading at least I'm happy now

'Cause I'm running out of time,  
And I feel this ship it's sinking  
The doors are closing, I am frozen  
I need her around

And it's feels like we belong together  
Can someone tell me where do I star?

'Cause I can't keep on, feeling the way I do  
And I can't keep on hiding my heart from you  
I got to say something before  
Someone else comes through  
I can't keep on loving you..  
From a distance (I'm in love)  
From a distance  
From a distance  
From a distance

I can't hide  
I can't keep on, feeling the way I do  
I can't keep on hiding my heart from you  
I got to say something before  
Someone else comes through  
'Cause I can't keep on loving you  
I can't keep on loving you..  
From a distance

I didn't even notice when did we arrived at school, in the parking lot everybody was getting out of the car, I stay there still grabbing the wheel with my eyes lying in the radio listening to the song. "Are you okay?" Aria said seeing I wasn't moving, instantly Hanna and Emily turn around to see me with a flash of worry, and concerned in their eyes. "Yeah, I will catch up with you in a minute." I said taking my seatbelt and turning off the radio, I get out of the car and I take my books and bag. I shut the door and I lay against it. What was I going to do? It was driving me crazy, how am I gonna live like this? I know my friends were gonna help me but that wasn't enough. To calm down my heart, my body and my mind I needed her that was my only cure.

I can't stand any longer this emptiness on my heart. Without her I am incomplete. I'm searching for my other half, to answer my question, I need her, I love her and I want her. Never do I want to say goodbye to her. Although what I do want is to say hello every morning, the cloudiness is too much to bear. I start to whisper "Please Emmy bring me back my sunlight. Just open up your heart and listen my heart screaming your name, open up your arms, and let me in. Let me take away your pain and hurt. I'll fix you. I'll make your life better. You know my truth. Being away from you is the last thing I want. Please you are my best friend. Without you I am nothing. I live for you. You are the beat to my heart and the smile on my face. I want your smiles, your winks, and most of all your heart and kisses. Please bring them all. The butterflies, the laughs and the you and me forever. It's you that I adore desire and long for, just one chance. One chance for you and me to love each other, to makes us happy. Let it be the beginning. Please don't forget about me. When you feel sad, know someone loves you. When you feel forgotten, know I'm thinking of you. When you feel bad, know you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. But most of all know just know that I'll always need you, love you, and want you." I try to set everything straight to head to class, I put my hand in my face and I press it hard and close my eyes. I hear someone running but I don't look to see who it is. I feel how someone uses their body to push me against the car door, and how they place their arms around me. I open my eyes and I see Emmy using her body to cover mine, forcing me to lay down to the car, I could tell how her arms tighten in my back. I see her body against mine; I pull her closer to me grabbing her waist. I have her head below my chin; I felt her breathing in my chest and her soft hair stroking my neck. I am afraid she may it hear me but I don't care right now, all I want is having her in my arms and never letting her go.

I close my eyes again "I am really sorry about Alex, Spence don't worry everything is gonna be okay." She thought I was like this for Alex, I can't even say I am okay or that it wasn't for Alex. I can't breathe, my heart beats begin to rise again because I have her so close to me. How do I tell her about this need this love strong and burning so deep inside? That my favorite place to be is I here inside her hugs where it's warm and loving. Her beauty overwhelms me as wrap I my arms around her, I press her softness tight. Great passion fills my inner being I'm captured in her embrace; her eyes control my very soul. "Emmy I don't care about Alex anymore, I am okay. Come on lets go to class." I move my arms and my body and I start to walk with her behind "Yeah and you know am here if you want to talk." I nod to her and we catch Hanna and Aria in the hall, at time for the ring to bell. "Aria did you read the book for today's, test?" Hanna said as the four of us walk to the class "Yeah why?" Aria answer, "Well I didn't finish the last chapter, can you tell me in a quick way what happen in the end?" Hanna asked "HANNA!" Aria yelled "WHAT? I had a romantic Saturday with Caleb and I told him I had finished the book, and I forgot to read it at your house Spen." Hanna said, Aria explains Hanna the last chapter of the book just in time to enter the class of Meredith.

When the ring bells to tell us that lunch time was on, we get to the cafeteria and we sit down in a big table. Hanna and Emily went for the food, I stay with Aria I didn't want to eat and Aria bring her lunch from her home. "Spencer, Han and Em are going for a shopping day. I thought you can go with me to buy a gift for Ezra." Aria said eating her Froot Loops, "yeah sure and what's the occasion?" I asked staring at her amused. "Well it's just that he's always given me this incredible things and I never buy or do something for him, so tonight I will make dinner and give a present to him. " she said blushing at the idea, "Uhh…, a romantic Aria is in the place." I said teasing her. She smile and look at the girls who are coming back, when they sit I look at Em and smile, she glance me back and smile too. I hear someone calling my name when I see there's this cute short girl with black hair and green eyes and she's accompany by this tall brawny guy, with short gray hair and blue eyes. "Hey Hastings how are you?"Jade and Jake say walking to our table, I know Jade for two years now she plays in the lacrosse team like me. She is my guy/girl friend we do every kind of sport or guy activates together, in other words she's my partner in crimes. The tall guy Jake is his boyfriend I love that guy he's like that big brother, always protecting and bothering his friends he is also my best friend, I turn to him when I have problems. We have make every type of pranks you can imagine, he and Jade are like those type of friends you go out to parties and social activities and they are the soul of the party. You always have fun when they are around, "Hey Jade and hey big guy!" I stand up from the chair to hug them. Jade pull me into a hug, Jake grab me and lift me in a hug "Hey! Jake you are breaking my bones." I said he puts me in the floor, "You are so weakling" he said "Oh… you are such an idiot". I laugh.

I punch him in the arm "Ouch! Hastings you're not allow to hit me that hard, I am not on the enemy lacrosse team " Jake said rubbing his arm, "Then I am not that weak" I said in my cocky accent and with my Hastings smile he hug me again and we both laugh "God! Can you two stop the maleness for one second?" Hanna said with a smile, Jade, Aria and Emily laugh "Tell that to him" I claim. I sit again in the chair, "Hey Spen I almost forgot, are we still on for the lake house party?" Jade asked me, I organize this party in my Nana's lake house a few weeks ago for this Saturday; I didn't invite people from school only Jade and Jake and the girls. "Yeah don't miss it" I am excited for the party, I haven't had a party in the lake for so long "Sure we will be there bye" Jade said walking to a table far from where we were sitting. "What are you wearing for Spencer party Han?" Aria asked "I don't know that's why I am going to go shopping with Em" Hanna said with a cute smile "Em are you buying something cute or sexy?" I asked "You have to see it in the party" Em said looking me a flash of happiness and flirty pass through her eyes. When the school end Aria and I when to the library, to buy a book that Aria said Ezra have been saying he wants to read, after we finish we went to a little restaurant to take a coffee, we make our way to the car so I can leave Aria in Ezra's house.

"Can I ask you, when did you knew you love Emily?"Aria start talking watching the window car, "I…" "Don't worry you don't have to tell me if you don't want." "No it's alright, I need to talk about this or I will drive myself crazy." Aria turns around to see me "I have all ways loved Emily, Aria, she caught me off guard and took me by surprise, It's true that every good and perfect gift is from above, she was presented to me as a beautifully packaged gift full of humor, talent, intelligence, beauty and love. Aria it isn't finding the perfect person but learning to see an imperfect person perfectly we all have our flaws but when I view her through my eyes, perfection is all I see. I don't tell her she's the one I've dream about all my life , because if she doesn't want this I will lose her, and that's my biggest fear. She is my one and only, a treasure in my heart that I want to devote my whole life to. I've never been the type to say what I feel, so basically I keep everything inside and with her it's different. She's on my mind, day and night. Maybe it's the way she looks, so sexy I can't get enough or how she makes me feel when she is by my side; I instantly forget all other stuff. It's the way she say my name or maybe it's the way she smile, then again it might just be everything. Is the way when I look in her in the eyes, I see the love burning inside me. When she hugs me, my world melts. She is my heart beat; remember the day after Christmas last year when Han and you went away to Washington with Hanna's mom."

Flash back

It was raining so hard the drops of water sound it like football balls hitting the roof of the house, Em and I were in my home "it's so cold" Em said sitting in my couch, "Can you give me your jacket Spence" she said walking upstairs "Yeah of course you don't have to asked, you can take everything that's mine Emmy." I said "Thanks Spence" I hear from upstairs, I analyze my answer I always feel like I would give my life for Emily. She is my friend of course I have to protect her with my life and make her happy. I turn on the smokestack so the house would warm a little bit, when Emily comes down I saw her using my jacket, I felt good knowing she was using something mine to stop the cold in her body. "Good idea I thought I was gonna freeze."

"What would you like to eat Emmy?" I asked her staring at her with a smile; I never realized how beautiful Emily was. "How about spaghettis, what why are you looking at me like that?" Emily said smiling in an amused way "Nothing I am sorry, sure spaghettis sound good" I said, she laughs her smile is the perfect combination with her brown eyes. I've never notice those dimples and the sexy way she bits her lip."It's everything okay, Spence? " She said now with a serious look, "Yeah Em, you know it's the same always thinking about how your smile is better than mine, I need to work mine in a mirror." I said making my Hastings smile, "Spence…, well I like your cocky flirty smile is pretty sexy and charming." She blushes and gaze me, a flash of tenderness crossed her eyes, I couldn't help to look down and then I lift my glance making her my Hastings smile, but this time it was for her so it was extremely flirty. She puts her hand in her mouth and laugh nervously, "Spencer! That's not fair" Emily said looking me in my eyes "You did start it" I said laughing. I prepare the spaghettis and we sat in front of the smokestack, when we finish the dinner we climb the stairs to get to my bed room. I told her to stay at my house, so she won't be alone in hers. I put her favorite movie Land of the Dead, we lay in my bed and she fell asleep in my chest. When she snuggles in me, my heart beats begins to rise and she starts to take my breath away. Her face was cover by a strand of hair; I place it behind her ear. I hug her so she won't need a blanket, and I fall sleep too.

End of the flash back

"Spencer you have to tell her, you can just let this inside you." Aria said grabbing my hand, we were in front of Ezra's house "I don't know Aria" "I am so sorry Spencer you will be happy with her I know it, you love her too much your right, she is the one for you." She pulls me into a hug and I return her hug, she gets out of the car and I see how she enters the home.

I call Emily to see if she is gonna stay and sleep with Hanna "Hey Emmy do you want me to pick you or you want to stay with Hanna?" I said "No Spence I want to be with you….. I mean that I want you to pick me up" when she said she wanted to be with me my heart almost got out through my mouth, she leave me breathless I needed a second to be able to answer her. "Am coming for you" I hang up and I start driving to Hanna's it's unbelievable how she has her own special way of turning around my terrible day; she makes all the bad things go away. The second that she says hey, and when I look into her eyes, I see pure beauty. Just a glance at her makes my heart beat rise, I know for a fact that these feelings aren't lies. If only she knew how much my love for her grew maybe, just maybe we could start something new. And if beauty was inches, she'd go on for miles; I better catch her before I go out of style. I'm going to let my heart be my dial, so I can tell her what I've been feeling for awhile. She's got me dreaming about her. Thoughts of her invade my mind every second of every day. I can't help it; she has become my world.

When I got there, I got out of the car and when to knock on the door, Hanna open the door "Your princess is waiting" Hanna pulls my shirt and whispers me. "Hanna!" I laugh nervously "Ohh my god, you're so cute! Spen" She said. "Don't worry she is on the bathroom, she can't hear me" I stay in the kitchen with Hanna till Emily comes out "Okay ready to go" Emily said opening the door, Hanna whisper me in the ear from behind me "Go for her tiger" I rush to the door laughing and I get out. Emily and I get on the car, "What's up with Hanna, Spence" Emily asked I smile trying to contain my laugh "The usual she is crazy" Emily laughs.

"Ahh…am exhausted Spence" Emily said loading the bags of her shopping day in the bed of the guest room. "Wanna tell me what you purchase for the party?" I said lying down in the board of the door, with my arms crossed in my chest. "It's a surprise you can't see it" She said pushing me with her hand and closing the door, she grab my hand and took me to my bedroom. We sit in my bed and I know Emily has something to tell me because of that serious, thinking face she has. "Is everything okay Em?" I said a little afraid of what may she need to tell me, "Yeah it's not about me, I wanted to talk." She tells me looking at her playful hands, I grab her hand and that makes her gaze me. "What's wrong?" I said now with afraid and worry flashing out of my eyes "Spencer you've been acting weird a long time, at first I thought it was because of Alex but I remember this has been going before him. So what is going on? Did anyone of us or did someone make something to hurt you? I mean Spence you have this sadness and this hurtful look in your eyes. I will kill the person who is hurting you, but you need to tell me what's going on. I talk to Hanna and she said she doesn't know, I phone Aria to see if she knew something and she is tells me that she doesn't know anything, Spence am not stupid I know you I can see it." She said staring at my eyes "I know it wasn't what happen with my mom, but that made you get worst. Spencer am I the one who is hurting you..." She stops talking and her eyes begin to fill with tears, she's staring me with those beautiful eyes cover in tears.

I can't hold my tears much longer, I can't see her cry not again and not for my fault. I get up from the bed and I pull her into a hug "No Emmy please don't cry, don't cry I am begging you." I hug her as tight as I can, I feel her tears falling in my shoulder "You and me have never had secrets from each other, why is this so important I can't know? But the guys can" I can feel how she grabs my shirt in the back with her hands, how can I see her like this and not tell her what I feel. "Em…sweetie.. I just…. can't tell you…I am afraid" I said, I want to tell her I repeat to myself tell her tell her Spencer, but I have node in my throat. She pushes me over "Fuck you! Spencer we always tell everything to each other, I have opened myself to you. I show you my deepest fears and worries; I have told you everything I want everything I hate. I thought we were closer than this; it's not easy seeing you hurt and not be able to help you, because you don't let me in you can't use fear as excuse." She passes through beside me hitting my shoulder; I grab her hand before she can go, "Em no….please don't go" I said trying to not let my tears fall down. "No Spencer let go of me."

I let go of her hand and she left my room in seconds, I hear the door of the guest room shut. "Em I love you" I whisper I collapsed in the floor; I can't do this anymore, my tears star to fall down I hurt Emily I make her cry the thing, I promise never do. I hate myself; I stand up and lay in my bed putting my face in the pillow. The girl I love was crying because of me those beautiful diamonds, which are supposed to be drop for happiness, were dropping down for sadness. In the morning I went to see her but she was gone but her things were still in the room, I call her but she didn't answer I call Aria and she told me she was in the school, I rush to get on my car and get to school.

When I got there all of the students were in class, I hurried to class I saw Emily sitting in a corner with her eyes flashing hurtfulness and pain. I almost start to cry again but I keep walking and I sit in my chair, I have a distance glance. "You're late Spencer" Ella Montgomery speaks, "I am sorry It won't happen again" the last part I said it watching Emily into her eyes, she leaves my gaze. "Okay…..and let's continue with the lesson" Ella said, in lunch I try to look for Em in the cafeteria but she wasn't there. "HEY! Not so fast Spencer what happen with you two?" Hanna and Aria said running with me through the halls. "Look guys I need to find her I will explain everything later" I said leaving them behind, I get to the pool but she isn't there.

I rush to check the lookers and I stop when I hear I girl crying, I follow the sound and I see Emily sitting in the floor. She was lying to the corner of the lockers, I run to her "No Spence I couldn't take my mom and I can't take you lying to my face please go." Emily said crying her eyes out, "No I am not going anywhere but to your side" I lift her from the floor and I push her against the lockers and I lift her arms and her hands and I hold them to the lockers, I undercrossed my hands with hers. "What the hell! Are you…" I press my lips against hers; I feel how my heart beats, and her warm breath in my mouth, I moved my lips up and down. This is everything I dream about the soft and perfect lips of my angel, her against mine. The feeling of no tomorrow just the moment, I thought the kisses you see in Disney are fake just fantasy, but here I am with my princess trying to make our fairytale.

My hands move and take her cheeks; she grabs my shirt and pulls me closer. She open her mouth to let my tongue in, my tongue dance to the rhythm of hers. I feel my body burning, she bites my lip and I bit hers with softness, she puts her right arm around my waist. She grabs my hair with her left hand, I bit her tongue with tenderness and she bites mine. I feel like I am in haven, in this moment is only Emily and I; I feel how my heart melts and my skin burns. I grab her neck with my right hand. Letting my left hand caress her cheek, she pushes me away but keeps her hands in my chest. "You want to know what happen to me well here it is."

I said "I didn't have the courage to tell you, that I have so much inside my heart that it keeps me from breathing. These feelings that I have for you keep glowing and growing every day. I sleep thinking about you and the next morning I wake up smiling, I never thought I could love this much but I was so wrong. I've kept my feelings for you contained for as long as I could, but after last night I can't do it anymore. You mean so much to me, just seeing your smiling face or hearing your heart-melting voice makes my heart beat so hard and fast. What I feel for you is genuine and strong at first I was scared and a part of me wanted to ignore it, and just believe that you were just a crush, I was thinking I was crazy to have the feelings I was beginning to have for you. I was really upset with myself and I tried to fight these feelings off, but they were just too powerful for me to ignore! I tried to convince myself that this can't be for real; that you couldn't REALLY be with me... I was going insane! No matter how hard I tried - I just can't fight the feelings I am having for you. I want you here with me, my world is spinning because of you, I just can't I sleep. My throat closes whenever you speak. My heart starts to rise just to be around you. I love the way you move, the way you talk, and the way you make me feel. My eyes directed down when your gaze falls upon me, that bashful smile you get and how you put your lock of hair behind you ear when I smile at you, I want you so badly! This fire and this feeling you cause inside me, is taking control of me. It's getting hard to be around you, without been able to say I love you. At night I lay in bed and dream of you coming through my door and me grabbing you in my arms and kissing you. I dream of you and me lying side by side; running my hands down your chest, across your stomach ... feeling every inch of you with my fingers. I imagine kissing you whispering in your ear how much I love you. I want to hold you and I want to hear your voice Emmy, I don't even know where to begin. I know that you are special. I want to be what you always needed. The first time we met, words cannot even explain why I felt and feel. I need to make you happy and let you make me happy as well, you've walked into my life and totally turned it around... I am so grateful for having you in it. I've been waiting for you my whole life and I am not gonna wait one more second, I love you and I will always love you, Emily Fields I want to be with you. "

She pushes me completely away and run through the lockers to the exit, I try to follow her but my feet were paralyzed. She pushes me completely away and run through the lockers to the exit, I try to follow her but my feet were paralyzed. After a while I could move, I start to run trying to find her but I didn't find a sign of her. I didn't care about school anymore, I get in my car and I star to drive to my home. When I got to my house, I run upstairs hopping Emily would be here but I fail to find her in me house also. I run to my room and put a lot of clothes in a bag and things I would need for a trip, I rush again to my car and put everything inside the back of the car. I had two cars one was a Mercedes Benz C63 Amg, and the other one was a Mercedes Benz Mclaren. I took the Mercedes Benz Mclaren.

I start driving, I don't even know where am going. I need to get away from everything, I press the throttle with my foot and my car roars like a lion. My phone begins to ring; I see who it is and its Aria follow by Hanna. They keep calling me and sending me messages; I take my phone and turn it off. I let everything out and start to cry, I knew that this would happen I knew that it would hurt, but this is hurting me more than I ever thought. I remember a quote I read in a book sometime ago; you can close your eyes to things you don't want to see, but you can't close you heart to things you don't want to feel. My heart is turning into a complete stranger I can't say I know me anymore; I don't understand how one minute I just had it all, and on another I don't have anything. Is it really that wrong to love someone this much? How do I mend a broken heart? My entire world has fallen apart. How do I find hope in a brand new day, when the one I love has gone away? My mind overflows with memories of you, of all that we've shared, all that we knew. I long for your touch and your warm embrace, the look in your eyes, the smile on your face. My dreams are filled with your soft gentle kiss, I wake and cry for all that I miss. How do I mend a broken heart, when my one true love and I are apart? My heart knows to love only you, it won't let go, what do I do? Our moments together were precious; I cherished them all more than you knew. I love you my angel and always will, even if that means to be in pain my whole life.

I am gonna go to the only place I know I will be alone, I drive for hours and I get to this motel Lost Woods Resort. When I was little my father always took me to this place, it was our place to rest before going on our father/daughter tours. I enter the reception and I ask for a room, the ugly creepy guy that I remember was gone, in replace there was an old lady she give me a key with the number 2 in it "There you go sweetheart, enjoy your stay." I give her a sad smile and I nod, I pick up my luggage and head to the room.

I put the baggage in the bed I sit in the bed and I take my phone out, I turn it on and I see 13 messages of Aria and Hanna and 87 phone calls from them. It starts to ring I see the caller ID, It said Aria. "Hey Aria" I said with my broken voice, "DON'T HEY ME! Where the hell are you I can't find you and Emily." I feel my heart burning she is telling me Emily is missing too. What am I suppose to do, even if I would want to search for her I wouldn't know where to start. "Well she is not with me Aria." I tell her "I know that, she call me one hour ago and told me she was gonna go for a while that we didn't have to worry. That she was gonna get here when her dad comes, I went to your house and her clothes is gone like yours" Aria said I could hear Hanna screaming that she was gonna kill me and Emily for making her worry. "Don't worry I am gonna come back too just give me time." I hang up and I hear Aria saying "Don't you dear hang up on…" I turn off my phone again, I am gonna take a shower.

After I shower I close the curtains and make the bed; I put my boxers and my shirt and let myself hit the bed. I would march across the desert to defeat my enemy having you by my side; I would lie here in the trenches with her picture next to me. All I need is her; she is the one I'd die for. Without her I'm so weak she gives me strength, like no other in my life. She's walk away I just feel it; I know it only myself left to blame, for all my sadness. Now I feel I'm losing her my heart starts to burn it hurts so much, because I know without her I can't live. I need time to get everything straight to face Emily again; I love her that is something that is never gonna change no matter the storms I have to face. I put the TV that's on the room, I pass the channels but nothing seems to be interest me. I turn it off, and get my guitar I begin to play watching the window, thinking if someday I will be happy with the girl I love.


	4. Chapter 4

**(okay guys here you have another one. To Rehaun is what you write to people like me what makes someone smile even they had a tough day. I just cant stop telling you how awesome you guys are, Its incredible that you take a minute to read this, and follow it. You can not even imagine the feeling I get, so really thank you so much. I am sorry this chapter is so short, promise the next one will be at least of 8,000 words :). thanks again see you soon, and remember love can be around the corner.) **

_The night was freezing but I only felt warmth, our bodies are so close my fingers intertwine with her hair. I look her right through her eyes "I love you so much Emmy, funny isn't it how you can make my world spin or stop. How you can make simple things turn into especial and unique ones. How you make my feelings feel all new and different. That's why I'm gonna say this every single day I breathe, you're the only thing that keeps me alive" I move my lips to kiss hers, our lips fit together perfectly. I'm about to touch her lips, they are so incredibly soft I can already feel them in mine. I hear a stroke and everything turn black._

I open my eyes and I hear a knock again but this time on the door _"_ROOM SERVICE" the numbers in the alarm clock that is placed in the night table say its 9am, is the first thing I see in the room I hear a second knock _"_ROOOOOOOM SERVICE". Now I remember this is the only annoying thing of this motel, I get up and walk to the door. _"_Good morning, I don't need room service but thanks any away_" I_ said to the old lady, I rub my eyes and yawn. She nods and walks away to the next room with a cleaning car behind her; I shut the door and took my phone away from my jeans. I lift my gaze from the phone screen; I see bottles of tequila and vodka around the bed. I've been intoxicated for the past three days; I turn my glance to the little screen I don't know what I'm waiting for yet I check my calls register, all I found is some calls from Jake, Jade, Hanna and Aria. The one I'm looking for is no were to be found. I take the vodka bottle from the floor and I drink what's left of it, I take a shower I take my guitar I head to the back of the motel there is a pool and a big forest. I walk making my way through the trees; I sit in one of them, I start playing the guitar making random chords. A song starts to sound unwittingly, I understand now. It's not me who's playing this guitar, it's my heart. I begin to sing David Archuleta-Crush letting the last piece of my heart break.

I hung up the phone tonight  
Something happened for the first time  
Deep inside it was a rush, what a rush

'Cause the possibility  
That you would ever feel the same way  
About me, just too much, just too much

Why do I keep running from the truth?  
All I ever think about is you  
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized  
And I just got to know

Do you ever think when you're all alone  
All that we can be, where this thing can go?  
Am I crazy or falling in love?  
Is it really just another crush?

Do you catch a breath when I look at you?  
Are you holding back like the way I do?  
'Cause I've tried and tried to walk away  
but I know this crush ain't going away-ay-ay  
Going away-ay-ay

has it ever crossed your mind  
when we're hanging, spending time girl?  
Are we just friends? Is there more? Is there more?

See it's a chance we've gotta take  
'Cause I believe that we can make this into  
something that will last, last forever, forever!

Do you ever think when you're all alone  
All that we could be, where this thing could go?  
Am I crazy or falling in love?  
Is it really just another crush?

Do you catch a breath when I look at you?  
Are you holding back like the way I do?  
'Cause I've tried and tried to walk away  
but I know this crush ain't going away-ay-ay  
Going away-ay-ay

why do I keep running from the truth?  
All I ever think about is you  
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized  
And I just got to know

Do you ever think when you're all alone  
All that we could be, where this thing could go?  
Am I crazy or falling in love?  
Is it really just another crush?

Do you catch a breath when I look at you?  
Are you holding back like the way I do?  
'Cause I've tried and tried to walk away  
But I know this crush ain't going away-ay-ay  
This crush ain't going away-ay-ay

Going away  
Going away-ay-ay  
Going away-ay-ay

_"_Woow….Spencer Hastings is CRYING?" I wipe my tears and let my guitar a side, I turn around and there are two handsome guys they are both tall with beautiful angel faces. One of them have dark green eyes and the other one light blue eyes, they are both brawny. One with blonde dark with back hair, and the other with light back hair. I could recognize them anywhere, Toby and his brother Jason. I meet them here in this same motel over six years ago, in one of my dad/daughter trips. They were with their parents that are casually lawyers; like mine, so you will figure they get pretty good, we have been so close since then. Having parents that want to be perfect is not easy. Every time we got pissed off about our parents or other problems we talk to each other, they are my brothers. I love them I feel protected, I can completely be honest with them they have never judge me; I don't have to hide my feelings from them.

When I was little I never knew what "Blood makes you related but loyalty and love makes you family" means until I meet them. I start crying again and I throw myself against them, I pull them into a hug. They return me the hug and wrap me with their arms _"_What happen Spen did someone hurt you, did that guy Alex break your heart. If he did I will break his jaw" I hug them tighter and then I take a step back. "Guys I need to tell you something, I can't hide who I am no more" I said destroyed. "Okay we are listening, but we know who you are Spencer. We love you and that's not gonna change ever" Jason said "I love you Spen and Toby too" I take a deep breath "I….I'm gay" I said it like someone hit me in the stomach.

"Well it was about time you realized it; I always knew that Spen I was waiting for you to tell me that for a long time now." Jason said grabbing me in his arms, "I knew it too Hastings, and now we can go checking girls together. The three of us well be unstoppable, well I can't go too far with this idea or Vanessa will kill me" Toby said stealing me from Jason's hug, and kissing me in the cheek while he holds me like a teddy bear "And Stella would kill me too" Jason smile, I laugh and I push Toby away so I can kiss his cheek too, "Yeah I think your girlfriends would kill me for that idea too" I said wiping my tears and laughing. "Besides I'm in love with someone and I want her for the rest of my life. Okay before I forget how did you know I was gay and how did you two find me?" I asked "We were getting home from our vacations; to be ready for your party in the lake house. We saw your car in the parking lot, so we stop and the lady from the reception told us that she saw you walking to the forest. The rest is history we follow that beautiful voice of yours." Toby said "You know I have superpowers to know when you are in problems, I thought I already told you that day when I hit that idiot in the paintball field, When he try to get funny with you. I have your back and you have mine." Jason said giving me a smile "I have your back too Spen and you too have mine." Toby said smiling.

"Come on this is not the best place to talk lets go to my room" I pick up my guitar and lead them to my room, when we enter they saw the alcohol bottles in the floor. "Spencer what ever happen to you doesn't give you the right to get drunk and hurt yourself." Toby said giving me a sad smile; I took my gaze out off his. I can't take watching him when I know he has the truth, Jason sits in the bed and watch me, hopping I will tell him what was going on. Toby pulls me into a hug again "Promise me when you have a big problem or just a problem, you won't go to the vodka and tequila. You would come to me. " He was holding me with fear of losing me or fears of me getting hurt. "Yes I promise Toby" he leaves me and sits on the chair; I pick a trash bag and throw the 4 bottles of the floor in the bag. I put them outside of the door, I enter the room again and I sit in the bed. "You asked me how did I knew you like girls, well you've always been that girl crush of every girl. You have this charming this personality towards girls. You always look at girls with a special glance, like you were waiting for the right one for you." I didn't respond I only think about what he just told me, "Spencer now it's your turn to tell us what happen" Toby said with low tender voice.

"I…am in love with my best friend; she is the world to me. I feel her hand is my caress; her dreams are my wish. I feel her gaze is my rest, her name is my song. I feel her lips and mouth are my refuge, I feel her soul is my gift, just feeling she exist. Feel I live to love her. I want to tell her wishes in her lips, her pleasure is the strongest weapon I have to dream. I dream to travel in her soul and kidnap her heart; I dream that it won't be rescue for her or me only passion." I paused and I stand up from the bed I lay against the window, I see the beautiful forest outside, I sigh. "When she speaks with me, and I look at her time stops. It's her eyes they are my paradise, I'm lost in her. My objective is her feelings one by one, my objective is to love her with everything I am. Her smile is my inspiration, my motivation. I dream her, I need her, I think her, I want her, and I love her. I love her so much, I never felt this way before. I need her to breath, I need her eyes to see, I need her lips to feel, I need her soul to live, I need her existing to smile, I just need her to know how to love.

I have infinite reasons to think her, and I have another infinite reasons to admire her, but just one reason to not forget her and that is loving her. That's why the fear of losing her it's my living hell." I feel a tear coming down from my cheek; I gaze the boys who are now looking me with despair, torturous, anguished faces. "If you love her and this is the one for you why don't you tell her?" Jason said I know he is trying to be strong but I can see in his eyes he is turn apart for me. Toby is in complete silence, he has always been the one who protects me from everything, and the one who helps me in my crazy plans. I will die for this two; Jason is my left hand and always will. Toby has been my right hand and will always be my right hand. This is way I am crashing apart to tell them I'm hurt, because I know seeing me hurt gets so deep in them. "I did tell her that's why I'm like this, because when I told her how I feel and when I kiss her and she kissed me back, but then she run away didn't even say anything. I went home got some clothes and came here, I have been here since then" I said sitting again in the bed but now beside Jason, I was scared that Toby was there like a statue without moving "Toby are you okay" He looks at me with tears in his eyes "True love is no other thing then the inevitable desire to make a person happy no matter the cost. That kiss you gave her is a trick of nature to shut up words when they become unnecessary. Look for her Spencer if you don't hesitate when you say you love her, go make you and her happy." Sometimes I forgot who much Toby help, he is the best I love him.

Jason pulls from the bed and hug me "We got to go, but promise me I will see you at the party." He said with sadness in his voice. He gets up and walk to the door, Toby kiss my cheek and whisper in my ear "Just because the beginning is tough, doesn't mean is impossible. Fight for what you want. Don't give up, because you're in pain or fall down, get up and keep going." He moves to go away but I pull him into a hug, I press my arms around him as hard as I can. "Thanks Toby you mean so much to me, I love you. I will be happy I promise you." I said with tears falling down in his shoulder. He cleans my cheeks with his big hand, "You better keep that promise Hastings." He kisses me again and walks out of the room. Jason stands there like he's waiting something, I walk to the door. "And I promise you I'll be there. See you at the party." I said giving him a hug "Love you Spen. You know I'm gonna be here for you, I would give my life for you" He said with a serious look, I nod and tell him I love him too. I give him a kiss in the cheek he rushes to his car; I stay at the door seeing how they disappear in the distance. I enter again to the room and run to pack everything I brought; I let the backpack in the bed, the whole room is empty now there's nothing else that belongs to me in this room. I sit beside the bag and the guitar that lies against the backpack. I take out of my pocket my phone, Toby is right is now or never this is my last change to be happy. I dial the number of the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with, hopping she answer. I wait hasty, "Spence…" Emmy said. A tear falls down again, "We need to talk Em, and I won't run away anymore"


	5. Chapter 5

**(here you go, so sorry this take so long. I had to think really carefully in this chapter, I love you so much hope you enjoy this one. I don't know how to thank you enough for the way you make me feel when you read my stories thanks. till next time guys :·)) **

It's Friday, my clock say its 3:20pm, Em told me she was in my lake house. I knocked the door, waiting for Emily to come out. I hear footsteps coming, Emily comes out. Her gaze is low she refuses to look me in the eyes "Em…_" _I said looking at my shoes. I raise my glance and I surprise her looking at me, she blushes and she low again her gaze. I pull her into a hug; I make her look me and I start talking, "Look I've lie to you and myself so many times and for so long, I don't want to do it anymore. Emmy you can't imagine the pain I felt every time you were near me, but it does not compare to the one I feel when I'm far away from you. You're like my drug; I used to think that it wasn't possible to be so in love with someone. It wasn't rational to think that you would care more for someone than anything else, even your own life. That you would give everything just too now that she is happy, but now I know. It's not about understanding love or about to try to give sense to what was made to feel so deep inside you. I am the happiest person in the world, just because I have you with me. Em I love you so much._" _I end the sentence almost breathless; I take a step back taking my arms from around her. I am waiting for her to say anything; I can't move I'm staring at her with desperation in my eyes. Her eyes are giving me a new type of expression, there's a medley of hope, sorrow, flashes of happiness and shock. My forehead begin to sweat, my throat is dry I try to gulp and that makes a sound that Em hears. I need to control this badly desire to kiss her "Please say something before I lose my mind_" _I take a deep I wait for her answer, she pulls me into a hug I grab her waist and pull it closer to me. "I hurt you…..Spence I hurt… I am so sorry_"_, tears fall from her eyes. "Why…..didn't you… kiss me that…day in front of the fire place? When you said "I start_"_, you weren't talking only about our smiles, Spence you start something in me too. You left with a piece of me, with a piece of my heart. Spence…I… am so sorry… I wasn't brave enough to tell you that I am feeling things for you, but this isn't just things, I can give my life for you. I never feel like this, and it wasn't that day when it starts. It was the night I realize that the love of my life was beside me. I was terrified to tell you before beca….."I interrupt her while I hide my face in her shoulder covering my face with her hair, pressing more her body against mine.

She repeats my action "Because baby this is hard for you, more than I'll ever know. You're falling for me quickly; your love just grows and grows. You want my arms around you; you want me to hold you tight. You just can't fight this feeling, no matter what you try. You were scared to lose me if you said something. You don't want me to go; I showed you the meaning of love. Something you have never knew, when I'm away, you wonder what I do, scared that I will go, find somebody new. You do love me, but it is hard for you to say how much you will give for us to be happy together. You want me by your side, each and every day. Loving me is easy; it will always make you proud. You are thankful every day. You feel this feeling deep in your heart. We were never meant to be apart. You're so afraid to lose me, afraid because you think I might not be yours. You're afraid of loving me because you're scared of losing me. You're afraid to say, you're falling for me. You're afraid that you might not be enough for me. You're afraid it would break your heart if I don't love you the way you do. You are afraid of me! Afraid of loving me!_ " _She cries more in every sentence I finish, when I stop to take a breath because at the end I was crying too. "Becau…_" _this time it was Emily who interrupts me crying her eyes out. "Because…..when you are alone and thinking about me, wondering if you make me happy. Hoping with all your heart, I feel the same way about you. You want to be the reason why that smile comes to my face; you want to feel me near you. Holding you tight in my embrace, you wonder if I have second thoughts. If it will always be this rough, you never thought that falling in love could turn out to be so tough. And yes you get the butterflies when you see me, and yes knowing I'll be close makes you excited. But you never realized that loving me so much, could ever make you so happy. You just feel that any second now it will all fall apart because how something can be so good and perfect without the price of a broken heart. You're just scared, that my eyes will wonder away, that I will realize that I could do better any day. You're so scared of losing me. So scared of me leaving you, so scared that if I leave you won't be able to breathe"

Now my tears fall down so uncontrollable I can barely stand, if I weren't holding her against me I would fall. "Because you were afraid I might not love you"we said at the same time that our voices seemed one. "Why did you run when I kissed you?"I said trying to let out me last words with effort. "I thought I was only a crush for you._"_ I am grabbing her waist because she can't stand. Her weight is all in my chest holding herself to me so she won't fall and hit the floor; she leaves my arms and tangled her fingers in my hair. She pulls me closer till our lips are closed enough "I'm sorry I should have know you love me as much as I love you._" _She said looking me at my watery eyes, with her moist ones. I press my lips against hers, I move my lips up and down she instantly puts her tongue in mouth. My lips are kissing her tongue and her lips and kissing mine, I placed my hands down her buttocks I lift her legs. I divide and pressed them to my thighs, I move to let her rest in the door of the house. I take my hand from her leg and I caress her cheek, I bit her lip I move again my lips up and down she bites my upper lip. She puts her arms around my neck; I have my right hand down her leg, she ramble her legs around my waist and tightens them. I grab my right arm and I pass it through her back, I move a step backwards and I stumble. Emily falls on top of me and we keep kissing, my heart is at his limited my body feels on fire hearing her say she loves me is better than the one hundred times I hear her in my mind and my dreams. Thank god there's a welcome carpet inside were we fall; Emily grabs my shirt and pulls me closer. Her lips are so soft so warm and tender. I move my fingers through her hair and I lower them down by her nape, I groaned because she slowly moves her body in between my legs in a lap dance. I turn around and now I am the one who is on top of her, I grab her legs and spread them apart I press my crutch and I start moving my waist and body. I bring our lips together again.

I dance with her tongue and our lips eat each other, while I move my body she grabs my butt and tells me to go a little faster in my ear. I kiss her again and star moving faster, I kiss her neck and begin to kiss her down. Panting she say "Spence…..lets… go to the room._" _I lift her in my arms and I walk to the room, she pushes me to the bed. I unbutton her shirt to let her perfect skin out. I kiss her shoulders, taking the strap of her beautiful black bra with my teeth, I low the straining in a sexy way. I put my hands under her fame shirt and unhook the bra that falls down; I suck really soft and lick her nipples "Spe…nce_" _She said biting her lip. I make a quick move with my jeans between her legs causing her to gasp and draw in a breath; I moan is responds to her hand inside my jeans "Wait Em…" I said in a moan, Panting and a big groaned. She looks me and a little flash of fear past through her eyes; I bit my lip "It's everything okay?" Emmy said. I smile "I rehearsed this moment so many times in my mind, the moment I tell you how much I love you and what you mean to me. I want this to be perfect my love." I said kissing her cheek.

I get up and I help her get out of the bed, she puts her bra and shirt. She gives me a seductive look and say "It always gonna be a perfect time just because it's with you_" _She said giving me a kiss.

I grab her hand; I walk to the stereo taking it outside and I connect my phone. The night is full with stars and the moon is calling our names, I select Leona Lewis-Angel from my music list and I stop the song before it begins. "Close your eyes beautiful, open until I say_" _I kiss her forehead and I see how she smiles in a cute way. I run to my car, I Bought everything for a picnic on my way here; I take the candles and the basket full of food. I rush to where Emily was, we had the pier in front and the house in the back. I put the blue tablecloth in the floor; I take the lighter of my pocket and light the candles "Spence what are you doing…" I start the song. She is about to take her hands of her face when she heard the music, but I catch her before that happens. I move her hands away and she sees everything that is on the floor "Spence…this…is…_" _I place my hand in her chin and move her head until I meet her eyes. I kiss her with a passionate kiss "Come here, baby_"_ I said in a whisper while I gently lead her to me; I pull her into a hug burying my face in her hair. We dance with the music in the back, I feel like I am on a dream everything is perfect, I have her in my arms. I love Emily and she loves me too, this is my forever this is my fairy tale. "I love you so much Em, you're the one my heart calls all the time. You're the sun of my world, the air of my oxygen, and the beats of my heart, I love you Emily._" _I said hugging her stronger, "I love you, Spence I am complete now that I have you with me_" _Emmy say coping me and hugging me stronger. We dance slowly till the music stop and other starts, I sit with her and we eat the food "Can I ask you something"She say staring at me with the most beautiful eyes they had a sparkle I haven't seen before "Yeah of course you can_" _I said looking her with her favorite Hastings smile "You don't have to answer me_" _She said blushing, I touch her hand and nod "Where did you go that day? What did you think…..when I ran away?"

I could see how she was holding her tears; I see the lake and then return my gaze to her eyes. "I wasn't able to think anything Em, I thought only that I had to go away. I hurt you so after you run, I went home hopping you were there but when I saw the empty place I pick up some clothes and I took the car and went to a motel called Rosewood Lost Resort. I got… drunk Em….. I had nothing to go on, I felt everything fall apart and nothing had meaning anymore. I lost my heart, my reason to live Emmy. Three days after a couple of friends found me in the woods when I was singing and help me, after they left I call you, I didn't know if you were gonna pick up or what you were gonna say to me. I needed to hear your voice, I'm sorry I hurt you Emily I won't ever forgive myself for hurting you the only person that can make my heart feel alive and give me a reason to fight for my live and my happiness. Why did you come here Em?" I said with a sad smile.

A tear falls down and I wipe her cheek with my finger "I…Spence I… hurt you so much… I am sorry; I promise you I will not hurt you again. I came here because I told you I thought I was only a crush for you. I hide here because this place is yours; I lay in your bed crying with a picture of you by my side. Wishing that what you told me that day after you kiss me was real, I am so sorry…..I know it's a stupid thing and that I needed to stay and hear all you had to say." She stops because she is gonna cry again. I make a big smile, and pull her into a hug "It doesn't matter anymore, I love you and I will love you forever." I glance and I kiss her, my lips move opening hers she bites. I make a half smile, she smiles and she smile in my favorite way making those cute sexy dimples. I smile too making her favorite Hastings smile, "Are you gonna come and see me swimming. There's a big change that I win a scholarship a scouter is gonna come and see the race between Paige and I, I'm so nervous what if I mess up and they choose Paige" She said while she is laying down in my shoulder, we were watching the stars. I play with her hair and caress her cheeks "They are gonna love you Em, you are gonna do it perfect. You are the best swimmer; no one has ever beaten you because you swim with your heart."

We stay there watching the night sky. The ringtone of my phone wake me up in the morning, I have Em snuggled in me. I press my lips in hers and she wakes up, "Good morning Emmy" I said watching her, she kiss me back "Good morning Spence" She said getting up. I take my phone and I answer putting it in speaker walking inside the house with Em, "Hello" "OH… MY GOD Spencer you're so dead. I don't know where you or Em have been. You better come home or I swear I will kill you both" "and I will help" Hanna yelled and Aria said with an angry voice I never heard before, I laugh and smile. Emily laughs with me, I pass my arm around her waist and I kiss her neck causing her to giggle. "Oh…and you're laughing while Hanna and I having been worry and scared to dead for the last three days. That's nice of you two, thank you very much" "we're sorry, Aria don't worry we are all right" Emily said with the cutest smile, I kiss her "Aria we are in the lake house" I said "I am still mad at you two"Aria said with a sad voice "Yeah we know" Em and I said at the same time. "Okay we are gonna see you tonight for the party then Honey bees" Hanna said from the back, Emily blush and I laugh kissing her cheek "Han congrats you reach the number one spot in my list" I said smiling "Told you I will, okay good bye lovebirds" She said laughing I could her Aria laughing too.

Hanna hangs up before I response, "Em….I think they all right know" I said in a whisper watching my phone. "Really why do you say that Dopey, and do you wanna do something before the party?" she said laughing. I laugh with her "Let's eat first and we will get ready beautiful" I asked walking to the kitchen to make coffee "Sure, don't you think we pick up the picnic stuff?" I gaze her, she has the shiniest brown hair it falls perfect in her shoulders. Her eyes are so beautiful they hypnotize me, I get loose in there ocean. "Yeah don't worry I will clean up and put everything in my car" I said preparing the food, "Okay after I eat I will take a shower, and put the clothes I bring in your car too" I nod and I give her a smile, she rise her eyebrow and it her lip "Uh….babe the food is burning" She said with amusement, I turn fast to face the eggs and the bacon. She laughs and I roll my eyes "If you keep looking me you'll burn the house." She said "Okay that's not fair, you are doing those sexy thing to distract me." "Oh….my god what I'm I doing that is sexy?" Emily said smiling and now with red cheeks, she lifts her eyebrow and bit her lip again. "THAT, okay forget about the food" I walk to the eating table where she is sitting. I cup her face in my hands and I kiss her, I love to feel her smile in our kiss. "Okay, I am not gonna seduce you more but come on because I don't wanna eat ashes." She pushes me to the kitchen again and grabs me in the back putting her chin in the back of my shoulder. "You can now cook finish the food so I can give you sexier looks." I laugh after we ate, Em went to take a bath and I clean the rests of the picnic. I put the stereo inside and I take my phone back, when everything is ready I rush to the bathroom of one of the rooms and I take a shower. I put my red skinny jeans, my black t-shirt with my white men scarf and a pair of black/white Supra sneakers. I dry my hair and went out to the living room now dance space, Emily and the girls were all ready there. Em was so freaking sexy she was wearing an off one shoulder black top, a gray denim legging with a big black trim in the legs and black high top sneakers. She makes a little smile and blush "So Spencer do you want pail for your drool" Hanna said laughing, Aria laugh too and Em hide her face in her hands. I sit in the couch were Em was sitting and she sits in my lap, "When did you two get here?" I said "Like four minutes ago. Caleb is getting some stuff from the car" Hanna said.

"I'm here" Caleb scream "Hey is Ezra gonna come?" I ask Aria "Yeah but he will be late, he is coming from a meeting" I give her a small smile, "Hey guys, I'm so happy for you two" Caleb said sitting with Hanna "Thanks Caleb" I said "How many people are gonna come Spen?" Aria asked looking at me "About one hundred" "Wait what? Spencer do you have a secret life that we don't know" Hanna said "No, but had many friends of my childhood and I knew some people in the meetings of lawyers that my parents took me" I explain.

"I think your first guest is on the door" Emily whispers I kiss her, "Will you come to open the door with me Miss Hastings" I said biting her ear. "Sure Miss Fields" I hug her burying my face in her neck, "I thought Caleb and I were bad but you two are so much worse" Hanna said with a big smile. I get up from the couch and I take Emily's hand to go to receive the guest "You go girl! Way to go Em" Aria said when she saw my hickey; Emily hugs and blushes while we are walking I move arm around her waist "I love every single part of you, I think your red cheeks are so beautiful in combination with that smile that drives me crazy" I whisper in her face, "I love you Spence" I always smile when I hear her talking but when she say she love me, it's my only reason to wake up and keep going. We make our way thought to get to the door, I open with Em in my arms "Hey Spencer did you miss us" Toby said, I kiss Em and I jump to hug him "And there's no love for me I used to be your favorite" Jason said with a fake sad face, I jump to hug him too "You know I don't have favorites, Jason I love you too" I kiss him in the cheek. I hug again Emily "Toby, Jason this is Emily. Babe this are Jason and Toby" I said "Nice too meet you Em, Spencer has talk so much about you" Toby said hugging Emily and lifting her from the floor "HEEEEY!….Toby be careful!" He puts down Em who is laughing "Hey Em it's so good to meet you" Jason said giving Emily a little kiss in the cheek "Hey nice to meet you too" Emily said.

I didn't see Vanessa and Stella the girlfriends of Jason and Toby "Vanessa, Stella how are you?" I said watching how Vanessa was glue to one side of Jason hugging him, and Stella with Toby. Vanessa was tall like her boyfriend with long black hair; she has a mix of gray with blue eyes. She is really pretty, Stella is the opposite of Vanessa she is small with a long brown hair. She has green eyes, she is really cute.

"Spencer I am good you?" Stella said hugging me "Good thanks" I said "How is this beautiful lady?" Vanessa asked me when she saw the way I was looking at Emmy in the eyes and how I was holding her "She is the love of my life" I said with a proud tone, "Hey I'm Vanessa" She said "Nice too meet you too, I'm Emily Spence's girlfriend" She has a big smile crossing her face, I grab her hand and I press it sending Em a message I don't wanna let you go. I smile when she glance me and our eyes connect "I am Stella" She said causing Emmy to move her eyes from mine, "So when is the party gonna start Spencer" Toby said and we all laugh.

"Guys this are my best friends Aria, Hanna and Caleb" I said when we enter the living/dance room I sit again in the couch and Emily sits beside me cuddling in my side, "Oh…god I love you so much, you two are so cute" Hanna scream, hugging Caleb like he is her teddy bear. Caleb kisses her with a mocking smile; Emily blushes and hides her face in my chest pulling my white scarf to hide her red face, I hug her so she can hide in my arms "Hanna! Stop making Em blush, that's my job" I said, everybody laughs. Toby, Jason and the girls are sitting the black couch we have on the left. Em giggles inside my embrace "I love you" she whispers. "Guys Ezra just text me he is outside, I'll be back in a minute" Aria said walking to the front door.

A few hours later the house was full with people, I was with Emily, Toby, Jason, Aria, Hanna, Caleb, Ezra, Vanessa, and Stella. "So you start the party without us, that's not cool Spencer" Crystal and Dean. I know them since I was five; their parents have the most beautiful bar for teenagers, I went there when I wanted to have fun. I remember Crystal and Dean were there every time I was there, we became family too. The bar was three blocks from my old house, so I spend most of my childhood with them. Dean was the older brother her sister Crystal is one year younger then Dean, We have pass through so much together. Their parents are so nice so sweet, kind, sympathetic people; I love to hang out with them at the bar. There were the parents I always want; Dean was another brother to me. Crystal was the sister I want she didn't have any sisters until we meet but at least she had a nice brother, I had Melissa my sister but I was never close with her. Crystal quickly replaced her; Crystal was blonde with long hair, tall with honey color eyes. Dean was tall, with black and a little almost trades of red her. "Hey guys" I said "Hi did you receive the invitation of the party we are gonna do in the bar" Crystal said "Yeah I will be there for sure" I speak giving her a small smile "So how are you Spen" Dean ask "Really good thanks and you" "Good thanks" he said staring at me and my friends "This are Aria, Hanna, Caleb, Ezra, Emily" I gaze Emily in the eyes and they knew instantly how important she was "and you know Toby, and Jason" I end saying pointing with my finger all the people I have around. "Hello my name is Dean and she is my sister Crystal."

After a while everybody were knowing each other "I remember the time that Spencer learn to ride a bike, you needed to see how scared she was" Toby said "Or the first time she try to play lacrosse against us three" Dean said moving her chin to point Toby and Jason "I remember she broke my knee and my arm" Jason said robbing his arm, Emily and my other friends were listening the entertaining stories of my childhood. Emily was sitting in the mini bar with a cup in the hand, and I'm holding her caressing her hand below the table "The best memory I have of Spencer is when she won the first thing ever it was a competition of how can drink more milk. She drank seventeen cups of milk, she puke all the day but it was so happy she won. I was mad at her for the rest of the day because she won me, do remember that Crystal" Jason said with a cute smile "Of course I didn't play because it seemed so gross but Spencer made me play, and I couldn't even drink two cups" Crystal said with a grin.

"What's your best remember of Spencer" Toby asked Emily "Probably when she taught me how do drive" She said laughing I laugh too at the memory "Oh…god I thought we were gonna die" Aria said with a big smile "I'm still afraid of getting in the car when she is driving" Hanna said "You are so dramatic it wasn't that bad" I reproach "Spencer you probably almost kill these girls" Jason said, and everything laugh "That's why we had to teach her how to drive" Toby said "Toby please I knew how to drive. You only teach me a few things" "SPENCER…..YOU ALMOST KILL US THE FIRST TIME YOU TOOK THE WHEEL" Stella said "Yeah I had to asked Jason to help Toby to teach you" Vanessa said with a mocking smile "That's it you can all walk home tonight" I said frustrated, everybody starts laughing and Emily kiss me when she saw I was grinning at all of them. "I love you, you drive better now" She said kissing me but she can't avoid smiling and laughing while she kisses me. "I love you my love"

"Hey guys were here" Jade said appearing from all the people with Jake behind "Hey Hastings wanna go to see who's better in billiards" Jake said, I give Emily a kiss in the cheek "I'll be right back babe" I said. All the guys follow me and Jake; it is me, Toby, Ezra, and Jade against Jason, Jake, Dean and Caleb. "Let's begin the losers will have to swim naked from the dock to half of the lake" Jason said "DEAL" my team scream, we start to play from time to time we hear a "Your cheating" from Jake.

We were about to finish the game when someone talk from the Dj place "This one is for Spencer" Crystal said catching my attention, she is staring at me with a funny smile she winks me her eye. I laugh and I wait for the song to begin Ashley Tisdale-Headstrong, starts to sound I laugh nervously and the people in the dance floor walk away leaving a big space to dance. I see Aria and Hanna clapping and cheering, I don't know what's going on. Crystal giving me signs to go to the center of the dance floor, "Spencer go!" Jade push me, and I ended up in the dance floor. I see Emily walking towards me with sexy moves; I couldn't help to bit my lip and smile. She grabs my scarf and pull closer to her, she starts dancing so sensual. I begin to dance like her, every time with do a sexy dance move the crowd went crazy. We were so coordinated, she is provoking me dancing this way, and we are so close. I'm getting so hot, she turns putting her back in front of me. She grabs my arms and pass them through her waist making my hug her from behind, she starts to move slowly down forcing me to go down with her. She is using her hips to move mine; she moves her head till her mouth is in my ear, she grabs my hair from behind with her right hand and the side of my thigh with her left hand. At the pinpoint when the song said "melt down gonna feel the heat" she moans in my ear biting it "melt me down Spence" I groaned.

The third song begins to sound Vanessa Hudgens-Lets dance and I didn't know when everybody got there date to dance but everyone is dancing now, Hanna seem to be having fun on top of Caleb. You haven't seen anything, if you don't see you're ex English teacher dancing like he has fire in his pants, and her girlfriend pants are water. "Shake me" Emily whispers in my ear "Hold me" I can't do it anymore, I turn her around and I kiss her like there's no one else in the room. I'm getting too excited, I will kill Crystal.

I thank god when the song end and Emily took me outside, I see how half of the couples including Hanna and Aria went to a room with Caleb and Ezra. "Well I didn't know this part of you" I said trying to swallow a sip of the vodka of my cup, but I can't I feel a ball in my throat "Sorry if I was too bold Spence, but I couldn't help it anymore you are so sexy and when Crystal said she was gonna put the hot songs. I wanted to dance with you" She said now shame was all over her face, I laugh "Don't worry I love dancing with you" I make my Hastings smile, she makes her face with the dimples I love "I know you like it, you didn't let go of me for a second. You have a wild side too, tiger" She said laughing. I love you so much Emmy" I said grabbing her hand "I love you Spence" we sit in the chair that is placed outside facing the woods.

It was so hot inside but outside it was freezing; I give Em my scarf "Here you go its freezing" we sit is one of the couch that is facing the woods. "What are you thinking Spence" Emily says caressing my chin, "Just that I don't know how I will live without you, Emily, my life was dark and I couldn't find what I was looking for, but there were stars points of light and reason when you were near me. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, everything turn dark again I felt blind, nothing had meaning and my world felt cold. There was no more reason for anything, until you were here with me. I love you, and as long as we are together, I have everything I need, every reason, every hope and every dream I've ever had is yours. My heart is ever at your service and I will go to the end of the world for you, when I am with you, the only place I want to be is closer. When you say you love me the world is mine. Each time I miss you, a star falls down from the sky, so if you look up and find it dark, it is your entire fault, you made me miss you too much, look I was sent here to watch over you and protect you but I fell and broke my wings, you helped me up and now I am your angel with broken wings, unable to leave your side. I have fallen for you, each day I love you more, today more than yesterday and less than tomorrow, I have waited my entire life to find you." I watch the stars moving and wind blowing.

"Spence" Emily said calls me "Yes my love" She kiss me, "I love you so much, I talk to the moon every time trying to get to you" Emmy said I kiss her. I cup her face in my hands and I kiss her like there's no tomorrow, "I'm sorry to interrupt but there calling Spencer inside" Aria said from the door. We stand up and Emily hugs me by my hips, "Did you have fun with Ezra" I ask the short girl. Emily explode laughing "That's so not cool, we didn't even do anything. He didn't want to do it" Emily turns red for laughing and me too. "That's not funny you guys" Aria said ashamed, "And where is Han" Emily ask "Having fun with Caleb" Aria respond "On my nanas couch I suppose" I said "SPENCER…COME ON" Dean scream "What's going on" "We haven't finish our game of billiards" He said putting in order the balls "If you want so badly to lose and swim in this cold lets finish this" I said a little cocky.

The four guys were standing naked in the dock, some girls were screaming. Aria and Hanna were laughing so hard "What are you waiting for?" I scream "Shut up" Jake say, they jump and start swimming. When they finish, they put their clothes again "The next time, I want a rematch" Jason said "Whenever you want" I said with my eyebrow lifted.

When the party end, Hanna, Aria and Emily went to my house "It's so late and I'm drunk see you tomorrow" Aria went to sleep with Han "I had so much fun, I really like Toby and your other friends" She said "I am so glad so had fun baby, yeah they are the best. Emmy are you ready for your race?" I said making two sandwiches. "I don't know I'm scared I will mess up things" She said watching her cooling "Don't worry I know you are gonna win with your eyes close" I said giving her kiss in the cheek "If you want we can go swimming tomorrow" I had a big pool behind my house "Yeah I will like to feel your swimming with me in the race" She said taking a bite from her food. We went to the room to sleep and Aria is sleeping with Hanna in the second bed of my bedroom, "Come on" I whisper getting in my bed with Em. "Good night my love" I said kissing her lips "Good night love" she said kissing me back.

"I don't know why you are afraid Em, you're so good" Aria said we are in the pool watching Emily swim "Yeah but there's a scouter coming" Em said panting and exhausted. "Emmy come here or you are not gonna have energy for tomorrow" I said opening my arms, she swim to where I was and grab my drink. She hugs me "I have the tickets for you in the school" "You are gonna rock Em" Han said.

"Let's go" I say, Aria and Han were already waiting in the school. "Yeah" Emily said, "Don't be nervous, beautiful I know you can do this" I whisper to her ear before she walks to the lockers. She smile and nod, "GOOOOO! EMILY" Han scream to the empty pool "Han she is not swimming" I said. She smile and grin, everybody stands up and screams when Em and Paige come. "YOU CAN DO IT EM" Aria and Hanna yelled but Em was using headphones, she turns to see us. She gaze my eyes, I wink her my eye and I spell with my lips I love you. She smile and spell I love you, she move to begin the race. The scouter is two seats behind us, the race start. Emily is taking the lead with no effort she looks like a shark in the water, Emmy is on the last track of the race and Paige is to slow. Em wins by thirty seconds of advantage, "I knew it" I said more for myself then for anybody. "Hello, my name is Scott I am from Dambi University. We are interest in you Miss Fields I would like to meet you to discuss your future with us" Emily is in shock she nod and receive the number from the guy. I cup her face in my hands "I told you, you were gonna make it" I kiss her and I hug her, "I love Spence I did it" "Hey congrats Em" Aria said "Thanks guys" Emily said.

We were in front of the door of the pool; Scott is gone now "You cheat YOU BITCH" Paige yell, I feel how the anger run from my body I turn and face Paige with rage flashing out my eyes. "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY?" I scream, Emily rush to were Paige were "If you have a problem with me, we can fix things. But now I just want to celebrate with my friends and my girlfriend" Emily said I want to kill Paige; she has always given problems to Em. Emily walks away from Paige "You Stole my scholarship, now is my turn to take something from you" She withdrawal a gun and retains Emily in her arms pointing the gun to her head. I feel my life running away from my heart I move run to stand in front of Paige "SPENCER…HELP ME, PAIGE STOP YOUR HURTING ME. DON'T DO THIS PLEASE" Emily yells with tears, I feel like someone is cutting every part of my body when I hear Em screaming "Paige you don't have to do this" I said trying to calm her down. She is pulling the hair of Em, she hits Emily's face causing her to bleed and twist for the pain. "AHHHH… STOP PLEASE PAIGE" I move instinctively when I hear Em screaming with pain in her voice.

Paige point the gun at me "DON'T TAKE A STEP CLOSER OR ELSE I WILL MAKE A HOLE IN HER HEAD_"_, the whole high school, is now watching the show, this freak is making. She change and point Em with the gun again; I can see the fear running in her body, her face in cover by despair. "What the hell did Em do to you, why are you doing this?_" _I said moving forward, standing in front of the throng. Hanna and Aria are here behind me, they try to grab my arm, so I can't get close. I slip my arm from their hands; I just need a second that's it, just one when she is not pointing me or Emily. "I am warning you, back off. I'm doing this because she doesn't deserve her anything she has in her life. I've work my ass to win this race; I have been here every day of the week killing every muscle in my body. I need to be the best, I have too. I will not let a fucking lesbian take my spot and my scholarship_"_ I take a step back, "you're doing it…. BECAUSE YOU CAN'T HANDLE EMILY CAUSE SHE IS EVERYTHING YOU WANT BE. ISN'T THAT RIGHT? PAIGE, BECAUSE SHE HAS EVERYTHING YOU WANT. YOU CANT HANDLE SHE IS HAPPY_" _I scream at her taking again a step forward. She moves behind Emily, moving her arm around her neck and putting the gun against the side of her head. "SPENCE….HELP ME PLEASE_" _Emmy beg me, her scream make a vacuum in my stomach and heart, like when you fall in a rollercoaster. I transform my hands into cuffs "Shut up...SHUT THE FUCK UP SPENCER, YOU CAN'T SAY THAT TO ME_" _She starts to cry, she begins to move backwards now pointing at me. "I will make Emily suffer, like she made me suffer so many times._" _ She puts her hand in Emily's mouth, so she couldn't scream more. "LIKE HELL YOU WILL_"_ I growled to her I run to topple her, I have never run this faster everything seems in slow motion. I try to run faster but that's impossible, I see how she pushes Emily down. She is gonna shoot me, but she didn't have the time to move that fast. I bring her down I got on top of her and I start punching her, everything turns red. She still has the gun in the right hand; I keep hitting her in the face, I can't control myself my cuffs don't obey me anymore. I hear a shot; I can't feel anything else then a little burn. I stroke her for the last time and she stops defending herself and moving, I fall to the floor everything turns fuzzy and I hear screams all over the place. Someone puts my head in her lap, "Oh…God, Spence. HANNA… hurry call 911._"_ I hear Emily's voice.

"I love you Spence, please don't leave me. You have to be strong, please I need you. Fight Spence fight for our future together please…it can't be, no NOT YOU SPEEEEEEEEEENCE. Emily's tears are falling down in my cheeks, she is caressing my hair. Her hand has mine in a tighter way against her heart I'm struggling to keep them together. I don't know what is going on, I can't breathe I feel the burn increasing in my rips. It feels so surreal "Emily Fields…. I…. l..o…ve you so much._" _My gaze passes from blurred to black. My hand feels weak I want to keep it with Emmy's one, but I fail. I need to fight, please just one more time I need to see her….just one more time to be with her. I can't and I won't give up. I will keep my heart beating for her, for me and for our future together. I still hear what's around me, but I can't open my eyes. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO_" _A few people scream, when my hand drops. "SPENCER…SPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENCER_" _Emily screams after she kiss my lips.


	6. Chapter 6

**(sorry if there's any mistake in the writing. i love you all and I am sorry its so short promise the next one will be longer :9 thanks again and I will keep telling you How much you all mean to me :3 thank you so much guys really) **

Emily Pov

Spencer is in surgery, the girl that I love is fighting for her life because of me. I always knew that I love Spence, I can't let go of her not now not when we are finally together. That moment when she told me she love me and every time she say it, when I see her eyes they disconcert me I feel I'm on a dream, and I don't wanna wake up. I learn that I love her more and more every day that goes by. When she says to me I love you, I feel the need to hug her and never let her go; she is the one that makes me breath. Her arms are my heaven, the place I want to escape. With a kiss she makes me stay alive, there's no one else that makes me feel the way she does. That everything and everyone disappear and that only matters to be together, that only matters the second when we say I love you. She is my hope, my love I love her with every breath I take. When she kisses our lips they'll stay together, and mine is wishing they stay together forever. She has my heart in her hands; she is my eternal love, my most beautiful sunrise and my brighter nightfall.

I wanna tell her how much I love her, I don't wanna lose her "Em its okay she is gonna be fine, she is strong_"_ Hanna said, I start to cry "I love her, Han I need her….I love Spencer with everything I got_"_ Hanna hug me "I know Em, she loves you too. You need to be strong for her_" _I move and I nod to her "Em….your mom is here_" _Aria say looking at the front door of the waiting room. "Thanks Ari, and thanks for calling her_" _She gives me a sad smile, I walk to my mother "Em I was so worry about you is everything okay? God! Look your eyebrow_"_ They gave me stitches where Paige hit me "I'm fine_"_ I said cutting her next question. She is staring me "Emily I'm sorry for how I act, its okay I just want you to be happy. I'm sorry sweetheart; you are the most important thing in my life, and if this is what you want then I'm here for you. If you wanna talk I'm here_" _I don't even know what to say I collapse in my mom's arms "MOM…SPENCER IS DYING, MOM SPENCE IS DYING BECAUSE OF ME. THE GIRL I LOVE IS IN THERE BECAUSE SHE TOOK A BULLET FOR ME_" _My mom hugs me like she has never hugs me before "Emily, everything is gonna by okay. She is gonna fight for her life._"_ I don't respond I cry in her shoulder and she holds me in complete silence, "Em_"_ I hear the voice of a male its sound so familiar. It can't be the only one I know that have this voice is far away from here, "She is gonna be okay, she loves you and that why you need to be strong and help her fight for what you both want_"_ My dad said behind my mom, I didn't see him because I have my face in the shoulder of my mom. I throw myself at him "Dad…..How do you know? I love her dad she is the one. I love her, and she is dying._"_ I say crying my eyes out, "It doesn't matter now, it only matter you and Spencer that's it, remember what I told you be who you are and say what you feel because it will set you free. I'm so proud you did it, now we need to help her to get through this_" _I nod and keep hugging my father.

We are sitting down in the waiting room it's been four hours since Spence enter the surgery room, "WHERES MY DAUGHTER?_"_ Veronica, Peter and Melissa Hastings enter the room screaming "Do you want me to talk to them_"_ My mom said "No thanks I want to do it_"_ "What happen Emily Hanna called me and said Paige shoot Spencer_"_ Veronica asked "Can I talk to all of you outside please_" _I don't know what I'm gonna say. "Sure but explain me what the hell happen first_" _Veronica said walking with me with the other family members behind, "Miss Hastings, I…..I am in love with your daughter and she is in love with me. I can't live without her; she is my reason to love and to be happy. I love her and I will always love her. We were in my last race of this season and I was gonna get a scholarship if a won the race, but I was racing against Paige. When I won the race and the scouted talk to me, Paige kidnapped me and pointed a gun at me. Spencer jumped to her and start punching her, and Paige shoot her. Paige died from the blows Spencer gave her_"_ Veronica was speechless "How is Spencer, Emily_"_ Peter said "She is getting surgery_"_ My eyes start crying again "I knew Spencer was holding something, she always acts so tough. Why didn't she say something, I would accept her no matter what_" _Veronica said crying "Because that's the way you raise us_"_ Melissa explain looking at me with a sad expression. "I'm out of here_"_ Peter Hastings said pushing a nurse, "She is your daughter for Jesus sake_" _I said, I know I am the last person who need to talk about accepting parents but Spencer fought for me when my mom said those things. I'm fighting for her too, this is not the best time to this but how can he say that when his daughter is dying. I feel the tears running now "You don't even have the right to talk, you made this to Spencer. What the hell is wrong with you? Are you happy now look what you did_" _He yelled at me. "She didn't do anything Peter, you can't tell me you didn't suspect this_" _Veronica said defending me. "DON'T TELL ME YOU BELIEVE SPENCER IS LESBIAN_"_ Peter scream louder, "ACTUALLY YES_"_ Veronica left him without a word "Dad that's enough_" _Melissa said "WHAT IS GOING ON HERE_" _My dad came out and see me crying "You better stay away from me_"_ Peter threatened me "I really hope you don't mean that_" _My dad threatened him back with a really dark military voice, "Dad please stop_"_ I said weakly and breathless crying. He nods, Peter turn around and walk out the hospital.

"I'm sorry Em_" _Veronica said with tears falling like rain, "Come on let's wait for news in the waiting room_"_ My dad said walking Melissa, Veronica and me inside. It has been three more hours since the Hastings family came and a little while before Aria's family too. They are all sleep Veronica and I are the only ones awake, Wren comes out with a serious face. I feel like my stomach went down and up. "Who is her for Spencer Hastings_"_ immediately everyone jumps from there sit "Okay she has a big family I see, well the surgery went relatively good. It was a very invasive procedure, but she took it well. Unfortunately it's too soon to tell, the bullet broke several rips and pierced the lung and heart. We don't know who she survived for so long the heart had to stop at the moment the bullet touch him, the bullet we took was in the center of the heart. It's a miracle that she was able to keep it beating all the way here, another thing that we find incredible is that in the surgery her heart was suppose to be stopped. Her heart was beating more than usual and stronger the usual; we don't know how she survived the surgery either. The most incredible thing is that after we finish and took her to the recovery room she speak, and her heart seems to be beating with a strength I haven't seen before. She has a 45% chance to survived without any long-term problems, and for what she live she is supposed to have less than the 15% chance to survived_" _I didn't hear the rest I am in the floor all I want is to see her and tell her she is the love of my life.

"I'm sorry, but we have hope that she is gonna be fine. Ohh… I almost forgot is Emily here?_"_ I stand up just to want to go back down. "I'm here_"_ "Can I talk to you in private_"_ "Sure_" _I walk with the doctor we pass the door he came out and enter a small room that said recovery "I didn't want to say this in front of the mother but I know she is your girlfriend since the day you came in to stitch her lip, she called you right after we finish the surgery. She is a fighter; I now she is gonna get over this. I thought you would like to see her before anybody else_" _I nod I can't speak only my tears are falling down. "She is in that bed, I'll leave you too alone_" _I begin moving, I don't feel my legs they are walking for alone. I see Spencer lying down with a big tube down her throat, and a bag of blood passing through an intravenously. There's a big machine watching her vital signs. I sit in a chair that is beside her bed, I feel my heart tearing apart. I feel a hundred cuts in my skin, I can't talk I feel a sword cutting my throat. I grab her hand and I kiss her "I'm here babe, I'm here honey. I won't leave your side, I love you so much. In my mind there is a sketch of you, in black and white, and is smiling, and the wind touches your face, and your smile is more beautiful each time I see it. My mind is already empty, the draft already has life outside of me, and she greets me with sweet kisses and breathes in my neck. Our love is like a drop of water falling from the top of the sky and slowly slips on the glass, drawing our names together. You're my Romeo and I'm your Juliet, but please Spence lets end our story different. I need you, I need to feel your breath in my lips again I need to hear you say I love you again. Please Spence don't leave me, I need you more then you'll ever know. I never told you this but I sleep with that teddy bear you gave me in third grade, I have everything you have gave me in a box hiding under my pillow and it says my dream come true. Can you please wake up so I can tell you how much I love you Spence...please?_"_ I get up and I kiss her cheek and her hand. I walk to the waiting room Toby and the people I meet in the party with Jake and Jade were now waiting with my family and Spencer's family "How is she?_"_ Veronica said and I didn't respond.


	7. Chapter 7

**(here you go. :3 sorry I took so long. so I love you all and here you go enjoy I'm sorry is short but I needed to make this one to make a long one) **

Emily Pov

I grab the doorknob of Spencer's room; I slowly removed my hand and lay against the door. My body slips down till I'm sitting down with my knees shrunk in my chest, I hide my face in my hands and tears ran across my eyes. Four weeks have past, and she is not getting better. I remember the first time I met her; I thought she was the most beautiful girl ever. That hasn't change; she still is the most beautiful girl in this universe. She is the angel you only see in dreams or paints, she is my wings, she sets me free, she makes my fly, and she is my heaven. I love how her hands touch my skin, like the sea caress the sand. If I could just….Spencer, I… need you I can't live without you.

Flashback

Hanna, Aria, and I decide we would stay to watch the lacrosse game. I usually don't watch these games but swimming practices is cancel, and I don't have anything to do and school is over. "Do you know I only come to see the boys_" _Hanna say with a flirty smile looking the guys running in the field. "Hanna you go everywhere just to see boys_"_ I say laughing, the whistle sound and the game begin. The first six scores are from a new girl I have never seen; she is crushing the other team. She is tall with brown long hair with light brown eyes, she so beautiful so sexy and gorgeous. I was bewitched by this girl, I watch all the game this new girl "Hey earth calling Emily_" _Aria joke, and I didn't saw when they stood up from the grandstand. "Sorry...where are you going?_" _I said "This is so boring, we are going to the mall are you coming?_"_ Aria responds.

"No thanks I'll catch up with you later_"_ I watch the field again the game was about to finish. The crowd got crazy when the girl score the last point to win; I stand up and walk down. All the people are congratulating and lifting the girl, I just watch how Noel grabs her and puts her in his shoulder "HEY PARTY AT MY HOUSE_"_ he screams. I see how she smiles and touch his back to put her down, everyone follow Noel to the cars to go to his lake house and celebrate the victory. The girl pick up her sport things with a big smile in her face, I stay watching how she walks to the lockers room. "Congratulations_"_ I stop her before she enters; I don't know why I have this insane wish to talk to her. "Thanks, do you like sports?_"_ I can't help gaze her she is the most beautiful girl ever, she has the sexiest smile the perfect combination with her eyes. "Yeah well, I love to swimming literally is all I do._"_ I can't stop smiling I just pray that I won't blush "Sharks, aren't they suppose to look dangerous_"_ She said smiling at me in a cocky but sexy way, can someone be this beautiful. I low my glance and I feel like my cheeks are on fire, "Are you telling me I look innocent_"_ I try to said it with fake mad but I couldn't instead I laugh "Well its just I don't see you been bad_"_ She is biting her lip. God she is like and angel "I can be bad_"_ I said lifting my eyebrow and biting my lip like her, "If you say so, I believe you. Hey my name is Spencer_"_ "I'm Emily nice too meet you_" _

"Hey I don't wanna go alone to Noel's party, would you go with me?_"_ She said after she shower and dress. "Sure if you don't mind going around with an innocent girl_" _I said mocking "I can always make turn bad_"_ she said with a seductive look checking me up and down with her eyes, taking her car keys out. "Let's go little Emmy_"_ She said opening the door for me, "OK that's no fair you can't call me like that_"_ I said blushing "Ohh….come on Emmy_"_ She is so beautiful I would let her call me whatever she wants. "Okay Spencer but only you can call me like that_"_ Now I feel my cheeks on a red color, "Deal_" _She said shaking our hands. "So Spence_"_ I was gonna ask her about her but I saw how she made a grin at the sound of Spence "You don't like Spence_"_ I say with a worry face "umm… it's just that all the people who call me like that always go away and leave me. Some of those people I really care about them, it's not much that I hate it. It's that I feel scared when someone calls me like that. But it's fair enough, you call me Spence and I call you Emmy deal. But only you can call me Spence and I'm the only one that can call you Emmy_" _She said staring at me with a charming smile. "Sure deal_"_ I said. "Why I don't see you in school_"_ I asked "I don't have the same classes you have, I'm one year ahead. And I don't eat in school in the break_"_ we enjoy the party I didn't like Noel but I have never enjoy a party more than I did this one with Spence. I meet Aria and Hanna after the party in the mall I took Spencer with me "Hey guys this is Spencer_"_ I introduce Spence; she is the most amazing girl I know.

End of flashback

Someone sits beside me "Spencer is special to you_"_ Wren said, I wipe my tears and I look at him "Yeah; she is more than special to me. She is everything I wish to have and more_"_ I told more for me then for him. "You talk like no one's ever love someone like you love Spencer" He said smiling and staring at me with a gaze of interest, "Because no one's love someone as much as love her_"_ He laughs and looks at a window that is placed in the end of the hall. "Remember the first time I met you and Spencer?_"_ His voice is deep if I wasn't seeing him I could swear that was an old man; he is speaking like he is remembering something that hurts him. "Yeah…_" _I half smile as much as I hate the idea of Spencer getting hurt for me or just getting hurt, some part of me love that she protects me. "Do you know why I assumed you were Spencer's love?_"_ My smile disappear and a grin replaced it, the idea that we love each other this much and the possibility of losing her in any minute feels like a big guy punched you in the stomach and took your air out after stabbing you in the heart with a knife, and putting alcohol in the wound that's why I grin when someone says her name. I didn't respond I just clean the tears that were gonna fall in any moment "The way you two look in the eyes, it is like fire is about to come out from you two. You look like you were in physical pain watching Spencer bleed and jumping when I stitch her_"_ He said "What she feels I feel it too, I only can explain what I feel saying that try to imagine what makes you smile without you wanting too or that thing that you just know it's the most important thing. Imagine that tearing apart in front of you watching it suffer. That's what I feel when Spencer is hurt or when she cries or when something is wrong with her_"_ I see how he stop talking, I wait for him to continue "I've never seeing someone like Spencer or you; I see how she fights for you. Every time I enter to monitor her and change the bandages, I say you are waiting for her to wake up and when she hears your name her heart beats stronger. I also see how you fight for her you've been missing school you practically live in here"

He gets up and pull me up with him "She is gonna get better_"_ He say pushing me inside the room, I walk slowly and I sit in the little black chair, I see Spencer in the same position that she was the past week. I take her hand and I kiss her cheek, I can't kiss her lips because of the tube. What I thought was important all of a sudden doesn't mean a thing and what I thought to be the things I love the most don't exists anymore. The only thing that is important for me the only thing that I love more than anything in my life is the girl lying in this bed, I take a deep breath is hard for me to talk when I see her I only want to stay quiet in her arms "You now Spence I love you more then you could ever imagine. I didn't do much today, I finish reading a book. I'm gonna leave you here the book so when you wake up you'll read me the same thing that I'm about to read you_"_ I take out the book and I open it putting my hand and Spence's in the pages, my voice is drowned because of the tears I'm trying to hide. "True strength is not measured when you are at your strongest but when you are at your weakest. But even when you're afraid I'll keep trusting you, I love you those three words have my life in them. What lies behind us, and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. Soul meets soul on lover's lips. The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched ... but are felt in the heart. You have what keeps me going; being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. You saved my life; you taught me everything about life, hope, and love. There are a hundred reasons why I should give up, but you're the one reason I keep waking up in the mornings. I love it when you look at me, with those brown eyes, I love it when you say my name, our love is strong and true, I love it when you hold me close, I miss you in my arms, I need your arms around me to protect me from all harm and I need you in my arms to protect you from all harm. But I haven't made a good job since you are hurt. I think it's pretty safe to say that I'll never stop thinking about you. The sweetest place is to be in your thoughts and the safest place is to be in your heart. The happiest thing on earth to me is knowing you're in love with me. I love you_" _I place the book in the table she have on one side and I press mi lips against her hand and I let my head hit slowly her leg.

I can't hold any longer my tears and I let them fill my eyes until I fall sleep "Em_"_ Hanna said touching my head I lift my head and I see Aria and Hanna standing there "When did you come?_" _I rubbed my eyes "We got here a few hours ago, we let you sleep_" _Aria said "Em you need to sleep and get out for a while_"_ Hanna say she have a concern look in her eyes "I AM NOT GONNA MOVE FROM HERE UNTIL SPENCER WAKE UP_"_ I yelled "I'm sorry Hanna, but I just want her to wake up now_" _I rush to hug her "She will come on lets go for something to eat_"_ Aria grab my hand and lead me out of the room "Wait_" _I move to grab my purse and I bow and I whisper in Spencer's ear what I've been whispering every time I leave the room "Wake up Spence, wake up. I love you_" _I follow Aria and Hanna stay with Spence. "Em what did Wren said?_" _Aria asks while she gives me a coffee and waffles in the cafeteria of the Hospital "That she is fighting to survi…" Someone interrupted me "EMILY…._"_ Wren comes running my face turns pale and I choked with the food I stand up as quickly as I can "WHAT HAPPEN_"_ I ask. Aria stand up like she was my mirror "Good news we can take off the tube she is now able to breathe for herself_"_ The little hunger I had is now gone I hug Aria and we both cry "I thought you wanna be there to help me_" _I rush to hug him "Yeah_" _I didn't see when we got to the room I still have my heart pumping from the scared "What happen_"_ Hanna ask when she saw us walking with Wren "They are gonna take the tube out_" _Aria respond her seeing I was to shock.

"Okay its out_"_ Wren said the five of us were watching how the chest of Spencer for the first time was visible getting air. "I know now she is definitely gonna wake up, the dangerous part is over. All she needs now is rest but she is definitely gonna wake up_" _Wren said, my tears fall like a river but they start falling not only on me but on Hanna and Aria too.

In the night the girls went home and Wren gave me a little room in the hospital to stay for a few days, I put on my pajamas and I slip into Spencer's room. It's so good seen her without that ugly tube, I rush to her bed it's been an eternity since I last touch her lips without the fear of hurting her throat more than it is."Remember you need to read me this book babe_" _I leaned and I kiss her lips "Good night my love_"_ I whisper her. In my room I get in the bed and I turn off the lights, my phone rings and I pick up "Stop having sex with a sick girl Emily_"_ Hanna say on the other line I can hear Aria laughing "Oh..My god Han no, I'm not having sex with anyone_"_ I hang up. Hanna is that person that can make you smile when you feel everything is falling down I don't know what I would do if I didn't have her in my life. Aria is more of the one who take care of you all the time I love her too. I started showering in the morning when I finished I went to see Spencer, I open the door and I see Wren checking her "How is she_"_ I say "She is progressing fast and we removed the threads from the wound_"_ I nod and I grab her hand "She is gonna be okay_"_ I say watching her it was the first time I said it without having the fear of making a mistake "Yeah she is getting better_"_ Wren say with a big smile in his face "Thank you Wren, you don't know how much a thank you. You help saving the love of my life_"_ he moves and pulls me into a hug "You're welcome_" _He leaves me alone with Spence. I start to talk about everything every little thing that has happen in school, Hanna and Aria had said to me all the news, I hear someone knocking the door. I stand up to open the door it is Veronica and Melissa I smile and go out so they have a time alone with her. I see how my mom and Toby and the others come "How is she Em_" _the crowd ask in chorus "She is gonna wake up, the dangerous part is over_" _I can't help smile when I share the good news. All the people start clapping and screaming some of them start crying and others to hug each other. I start crying again but this time I was glad to cry Spencer was gonna be okay nothing is better than this. My mom hugs me "Good both of you deserve to be happy_"_ I put my arms around her and I squeeze her. "SHHHHHHHHHH…_"_ a nurse come running to shut us up and they all go to the waiting room "Can I see her?_"_ My mom asks "Sure_" _We wait for Veronica and Melissa to come out, and my mom enter after they got out. "How is he?_"_ I ask Veronica and she instantly knew I was talking about Peter "He doesn't wanna talk to anyone, but right now I only care about Spencer. And Emily welcome to the family, you have been the reason Spencer fought so hard for her life and I will always be thankful for that._" _She hugs me and kisses me in the cheek "Welcome to the family sister-in-law_"_ Melissa hugs me and I laugh hugging her back. After Toby and the others left I wait for my mom to come out "I'm gonna go sweetheart_" _My mom said "Sure bye_"_ I smile watching her go.

I enter the room, I sit on my chair "You know Spence, you shouldn't scared us like this_" _I grab her hand "I really wish you could tell me what did my mom said to you?_"_ I feel her hand pressing mine, and I squeeze her hand harder "You can hear me Spence I love you_"_ She press my hand three times.

I know what she meant by that Wren comes running throw the door "What happen?_"_ He say "She moves her hand_"_ I get up, he grabs the other hand of Spencer "Spencer if you can hear me press my hand as strong as you can_" _Spencer hand entangle in Wren's and I feel how she tight her hand stronger in mine. "Spencer I love you so much_"_ I caress her hair, "She is gonna wake up in any minute_"_ Wren say he have one of the biggest smiles I've seeing. I hug her and I kiss her lips "Come on Em lets leave her alone for now she might wake up tomorrow_"_ I nod and I kiss her for the last time until my little escape in the night to tell her good night I went to my room and I try to sleep.

Spencer Pov

Come on Spencer you can do it get up, get up. I heard everything since I enter the hospital I know that my Emmy is waiting for me. I need to tell her how much I love her come on Spencer wake up; I feel the light of the sun hitting my face, and the lips of Emily pressing mine. "How is she Wren?_"_ Emmy asked Wren "Good she is really good_" _I feel how Em touch my hand and untangle our fingers, I hear how Wren gets out of the room "Spencer wake up_" _I try to open my eyes and a bright light hits my eyes. "Good… morni…ng Emily, I love you too_"_ I say I feel burning in my throat, I blink to try to see better her eyes begin to fill with tears "SPENCER…..I LOVE YOU TOO I LOVE YOU SO MUCH_"_ She hugs me and I make an effort to pass my arms around her till I make it "Don't cry anymore Emmy I'm here, I'm here for you_" _I cup her face with my hands and I wipe her tears with my fingers I move her and I kiss her letting my tears out.


	8. Chapter 8

**(I wanted to post the chapter on june 11 when pll returns but here it is hope you enojy)**

I thought I wasn't gonna see Emily again for a moment but I knew there's so much things I want to do with her, I couldn't give up I just needed and need to keep fighting for her. "How do you feel? Babe" Emily says looking at me I can swear she is more beautiful now that I woke up and every second that goes by, "Good, hey sweetie can you tell me why I every balloon and teddy bears have work it up girl writing in them and why they are all over the place…" I don't wanna say anything that makes her cry she has suffered enough. "Ahh….you know your friends just wanting to give you things so you get better, Spence I need to tell you something…..you're parents they know about us" My heart begins to rise, I don't care that they know about me been madly in love with Emmy. I just think about my father hurting her. She is looking for my gaze, her eyes are about to cry, she has a sorry look in her eyes. "How did they react?" I take her hand and I glance at her. "Your mom didn't care she said she knew, a long time ago. Your sister said it was okay, but your dad he…went mad. My dad had to stop him" She hugs me "I'm sorry Spence, I….couldn't…..stop them to find out" She starts to cry. I hug her back "Hey I'm proud to have you in my life, I'm proud to be your girlfriend as long as your okay and my dad didn't hurt you nothing else matters. You've been crying and suffering too much. I love you, sorry I've make you suffer so much" I gaze her eyes and I press my lips against hers. I move my lips trapping hers; I caress the outline of her lips with my tongue, she bits my lip and entangles her fingers in my hair. I smile and she kisses my smile "So my mom has always known I'm gay. Am I that gay?" I laugh, Emily lift her eye brow and bit her lip wiping her tears out. I die every time she makes that sexy little thing with her lips and eyebrow is so goddamn sexy "You've always check my ass" she smile in a naughty way, I bit my own lip "That's such a lie" I say whispering in her lips and grabbing her butt, she laughs and kisses me again.

Wren comes in with a big smile after a while, I have Em in my lap "Hey how are you?" Wren said I smile when I see Em blushing and ashamed, because he caught us kissing "Good better actually, so when I can go home?" I touch Emily's hair "Spencer you woke up only five weeks ago, and you are already doing things you can't with Emily. If you behave maybe in a month or two, but you're tests look good so maybe a little earlier" He smile and opens the door "Before I go your friends are out, and there gonna kill me if I don't let them get in" I laugh and nod. He leaves and I hear the girls running in the halls "You and I are gonna talk" Em says calmer I couldn't help to smile sadly "So how are you?" Aria said without air and Hanna following behind "Hey good and you" I give her a big smile; they throw themselves at me and hug me and Emily who is now lying in my chest with her head in my neck. I hug them tight "God Spencer I'm so glad you are getting better" Hanna says she have a relief tone. I can't stand the idea that they have been hurt because of me, "I am so sorry I scared you, guys I love you so much and you know it" Emily is squeeze inside the hug "SCARED? We were petrified for you and we love you too!" We stay in that position for a minute then Hanna and Aria sat in the chair "How do you feel Spen?" Hanna asks "Good thanks Han…..I know I shouldn't be asking for this but I need to know" I say watching Em and while I play with her hair "Ask whatever you want love" Emmy is staring at me with an angel look "How's Paige?" They shut up and I feel Emily huddle against me and I hug her, kissing the top of her hair "YEAH YOUR RIGHT YOU CAN'T ASK FOR THAT BITCH" Hanna yelled with anger fire in her voice "HANNA! What the hell is wrong with you" Aria says "Uhm….Spen sorry she well… she is….dead, you broke her head bones and cause her a brain bleed. The doctors try to help her but she died last week." I nod and I watch the window, clinging stronger to Emily "I…I couldn't stop, all I wanted to do is punched her. I would do it over again; Em is my life, I know now I'm strong enough to protect her even if I have to give my life for hers. But…but I still can't believe I…kill her "I give Em a weak smile "We always knew you are strong, but your life and Emily's were in danger. Who knows what Paige wanted to do with her" Hanna says with horror and pain in her voice. I close my eyes at the flashback of Paige pulling Emily's hair dragging her to the exit and Em screaming my name, asking me to help her. I grab her and I tight her with my arms around, my heart starts hurting badly "Open your eyes babe, don't worry about this anymore we are together, you save me is alright" Emily grabs my face with her hands and kiss me. "So when can you go home" Aria said watching how painful was the memory "In a month" I sigh watching sadly at her "Em will keep you entertain" Aria winks at me; I laugh. Em grabs my neck and kisses me in a way that can make anyone turn on in a second. "Ohhh….I will" She whispers in the most seductive way.

"Okay guys there's people watching a little discretion" Hanna laugh "Oh you would love it, besides we all know that you have a wild side, Caleb seriously doesn't know the meaning of boring " I say "WE are not a porn couple" She laugh getting up from the chair and making some sexy dance moves, then sitting down again "Uhgg…you know what they say if the feather fits" Hanna say reading a magazine that she brought "Han is if the shoe fits and that is gross, miss I make out with my boyfriend in the church, you can't talk" Aria said and we all laugh. After a while of chatting and talking about everything that had happen in the last months, Aria and Hanna left."What do want to talk about Emmy" She is looking at the window and turns around with a sad look "What's going on Em" I try to move but the pain is really strong, she comes closer so I won't move "It's nothing…." She escapes my gaze. I know there's something wrong I know her more then she think, "Emily I know when you're hungry, when you're cold, when you are tired, when you are falling down inside you but you keep a smile in your face so no one can see that you're hurt. So tell me what's going on please" I'm staring at her eyes, my body feels like it's been hit by a truck but I don't wanna let her know how much it hurts "I can't let you this again" I notice she is trying to keep her voice calm and trying not to cry, pulling herself together "Do what?" I raise her chin with my fingers. I trap her gaze finally "Tell me what's wrong" I give her a sad half smile, "I won't let you do this again…..Spence please you need to promise me that you are not gonna put your life on the line like that for me.

I felt helpless when you where in a pool of blood, what was I supposed to do watch you die in my arms. All I could do was called 911 and hugged you, clutching to not let go of the only thing that makes me happy that makes my life worth….." She stops. I touch her cheek pulling her into a hug "Em of all things you can ask me, why would you ask me the one thing I can't do. You're asking me to stop protecting you, but that's not in me. Sorry I don't know how to stop loving you to stop protecting you; I don't know how I could have lived without you for as long as I have. So don't ask me to not protect you with my life. You don't understand that your happiness is essential to me Emmy, and watching Paige snatching it from you and snatching you from me. How can you ask me to let her do that to both of us? You are my half with you I can make my dreams come true. I love you, I love everything about you, I love how you make me feel, I love you and who you are. Asking me to leave you alone when you need me is asking me to stop loving you, and I already told you is not in me, I don't know how to do it. Because that's like asking the earth to stop, impossible isn't it. I will do whatever it takes to protect you, understand? "I move away and I give her my Hastings smile "yeah…..but that means that if something like this happens again I would be without you, and that the same for you to live without me. I love you, that is why you need to stop"

"I love you too. Em I can't imagine what you felt, seeing me like that. I wouldn't stand seeing you like this but you need to understand that I am not gonna let anyone hurt you again. Em if you could felt what I did when you scream my name, knowing it was hurting you and I couldn't do anything. I don't wish it on my worst enemy, I love you Emmy I make a promise to myself long time ago that I would love you and do everything to make you happy and I pretend to keep that promise forever." She nod and stands up, I pull her down again and I hug her. I stroke her hair, I move her so she glance at my eyes. "So beautiful….so perfect" I wipe her tears and she kisses me; moving her lips and opening my mouth, and letting her breath into my lips moving her tongue paying with mine."You need to eat or Wren is never gonna let you go, so I'll be right back" Her voice is so turn off, like she has never been happy. I know she feels guilty, all I want for her is to be happy but that's the last thing she is. Em walks to out; she is so beautiful, that personality. You smile every time she is in the room with you, does eyes that make the sun look dark. She is my definition of perfection, I press the bud that gives me anesthetics for the pain; I didn't want to press it when Emily was here because she would know is hurting me. It doesn't hurt the way it did before, I'm feeling better every day that goes by. I know I'll be fine I just don't want her to see me hurt. I look at my left and there's a little book of poetry, I remember now she ask me to read her something even do I was unconscious the only voice I could hear was Emily's. I open the book and try look the poem; that I found and remember Em read, I close the book and put it where it was. I take my phone that is by the book there's four messages, one from my mom telling me that she is gonna come in the afternoon, and the other three are from Toby and Jason. Asking how I am, Emily comes in with a yogurt "Here you go Spence" She said giving it to me "Come here Em" I pull her in my bed and I lay her down in my shoulder "Hey no I'll hurt you if I lay on top on your wounds" She say with a face full of worry "Don't worry beautiful just come here" I wrap her with my arm "Thanks Emmy, I need to tell you something, true strength is not measured when you are at your strongest but when you are at your weakest. But even when you're afraid I'll keep trusting you, I love you those three words have my life in them. What lies behind us, and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. Soul meets soul on lover's lips. The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched ... but are felt in the heart. You have what keeps me going; being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. You saved my life; you taught me everything about life, hope, and love. There are a hundred reasons why I should give up, but you're the one reason I keep waking up in the mornings. I love it when you look at me, with those brown eyes, I love it when you say my name, our love is strong and true, I love it when you hold me close, I miss you in my arms, I need your arms around me to protect me from all harm and I need you in my arms to protect you from all harm. But I haven't made a good job since you are hurt. I think it's pretty safe to say that I'll never stop thinking about you. The sweetest place is to be in your thoughts and the safest place is to be in your heart. The happiest thing on earth to me, is knowing you're in love with me._" I look at her and she is smiling _"guess I did hear you when I was gone" She is just tracing every word of the poem with her finger in my chest in silent "Yeah you hear me Spence" She whisper watching the book on the table. She turns to me and hugs me "Let's just sleep for now" I wrap her with my arms. "I love you good night" I whisper in her ear closing my eyes. 

It's been three months I can finally go home with Em and the girls, it still hurts to walk or to breathe. Emily rushes to help me out of the car while my mom and friends get my things out of the car. I lean in Em's body to help me climb the stairs "Mom, guys this is really not necessary" Jason and Toby were coming down the stairs after putting all my stuff in my room "Yeah it is, and come on you need to rest" Jason said pulling me up and charging me in his arms. He puts me in my bed and Em lays beside me, "Mom where's dad?" I say. My mom is sitting in my computer chair, "He left a few hours ago before you came…sorry Spencer" I'm staring at her and a flash of desperation pass through her eyes "Why is he such a fucking idiot?" The rage and anger filled my voice "Babe…..don't say that" Emily whisper me "Did you know he almost hurt her?" I ask her I can't believe she would let him get to that point "I know…I'm sorry Emily, Spencer your father is not a bad person, he is just…he needs time that's all, I know it's hard to understand him. You have always been the perfect daughter for him but that's because you never said what you wanted, always trying to please him. Now that you are saying what you want, what makes you happy and not what he thought is difficult for him." I know what is to be Hastings, how perfect we are supposed to be "Is time for someone to teach him that he is not perfect and not everything has to be the way he wants" My mom gets up and walks to the door "I need to go to Washington for a few days but I'll be back soon, are you gonna be okay?" she stops at the door and turns around I nod. I hear her walking down the stairs "Did you tell your mom you're gonna be kidnapped by me for three mounts?" I turn my head to look at Em, I glance her "Yeah I stayed a week with her and she told me she is gonna go to Texas with my dad and I wanted to stay here and she understood" I lean to kiss her "who's that woman and what did you did with your mom" I say laughing and kissing her all over her face and neck "I said the same thing, still can't believe she let me stay with you. She is really trying to make an effort to accept this you know!" She stroke my cheek, she gaze my eyes. I love when she is staring me like this, I love the way her eyes shine, the way her beautiful her falls perfect in her shoulders, she surely is the most beautiful girl in this world. "As long as she doesn't come in the middle of the night with a knife to stab me, for taking you from her" I kiss her forehead. "No she kills with kindness" Em say kissing my cheek, I laugh "Spence I'm sorry about your dad, you're the best daughter, friend, and girlfriend someone could ever wish for" I don't want her to worry about this "It's okay you heard my mom, no one has ever challenge him. Don't think about this anymore, I won't let him hurt you or scream at you again. Let's watch TV" She cuddles with me and I give her the TV control, she stars to pass the channels. I hug her, my phone rings I pick it up from the table.

Aria: Hanna ditch me for Caleb

Me: Sure why don't you come to my house at night.

Aria: Okay see you tonight.

"Baby, Aria is coming later on" I say stroking her hair "Okay" She sigh. I know she is holding something inside but she won't tell me what it is, but I one part of me is really scared about asking her. What if there's…. I really can't think about this for now because my heart hurts every time I think about every possible thing that Em could be thinking that would hurt her like this. I'm so afraid but I have to ask her "Are you gonna tell me what's wrong before I go crazy" I whisper in her ear, "What are you talking about" I feel how her body fraught against mine. I get up from the bed taking my arms of her waist, I feel my body trembling but I lean against the desk of my computer. I turn off the TV "Please I can't take seeing you like this, tell me what is bothering you" She rushes to hold me "I'll be better when you get better that's all" She is holding something I know it "That's not true so tell me please" I sit in the desk I grab her face with my hands "Nothing that you say will change what I feel for you" Tears start to run across her face "I just feel like you're gonna disappear, I get scared every time I leave you because I feel like that's gonna be the last time that I see you. I hug you so much because I don't wanna let you go, every time I'm with you I think of how it would be to live without you and I panic. Spence your love for me, how do you know is real?" She asks crying her eyes out "My desire of you, my irrepressible desire to protect you, my desire of been with you, and my desire of loving you is as real as the sun that will shine tomorrow. You've always been my life, there's nothing more real than the heart that is beating in my chest… now for you. Emily my love, don't ever ask me again if my love for you is real please. Ask me about if I really have any idea how important you are to me? Or that if I can put is words in a sentence that will make sense how much I love you?" I hold her close to me burying my face in her hair "That's the same reason why I know that I love you, don't tell me that I don't need to be afraid of losing you, after I saw you like that" I know that fear that she is talking about, I knew there was something wrong.

"I'm gonna be with you Emily, I don't have or need to go anywhere only by your side" Emily loves me as much as I love her, "I know Spence, and I just want to be in your arms" I hug her tighter, "Don't cry babe, the only occasion I would accept you to cry is in our wedding" I kiss her hand, I wipe her tears "Come on lets go to the kitchen to give you a glass of water" In the kitchen I filled a glass with water and I take Emmy to the couch, I can't help look at her with a smile in my face "Idiot what are you laughing about" She grin, leaning on me and putting her head in my chest "That you love me and can't be without me for a second" I take the book of the table and start to read stroking her hair "Uhg…you're so cocky" She say with funny smile, and rolling her eyes "And you love me and think I'm sexy" I make my Hastings smile "God you're annoying" She looks at me and blushes to see me glancing her with the smile she melts with. She gives me a kiss in the chin and moves to take a nap on top of me, "Good night little Emmy" I start to read stroking Emily's hair again.

"SPENCER!" Aria screams from the front door I open my eyes and I have Emmy sleeping in me and my book in the floor, I rubbed my eyes with my hand and slowly remove my arm from under Emily's head."Yeah over here" I get up and I yawn, Emily looks so beautiful I kiss her lips. "SO CUTE" Aria is putting her hand in her mouth trying not to laugh and scream again "Shhhh….you are gonna wake her" I take the blanket and I cover her body. I walk to give Aria a hug "Did I tell you that's sometimes you're so not cool" I say walking to the garden with Aria behind "It's not my fault that you two are so adorable" I laugh hard enough for my wounds to hurt "You just like to tease me" The softness of my voice make Aria smile and laugh "Maybe I am jealous, you are so romantic with her. Ezra is like just one time in a month" We sit in front of the pool, the ripples of the pool seems like there are dancing in the reflection around the pool because of the underwater night lights. I laugh at the comment of Aria "Speaking of him how is he?" I look at the pool "Good, he is writing again, and did you figure out what is wrong with Em?" I sigh and watch the trees "Yeah…..she is just scared about losing me" I see how the wind blows the leaves and they fall in the floor. "You know she is right, right Spencer? We all thought you were gonna…..I think you don't know how much Emily loves you Spen. I know Emily and Han since we were kids and I haven't seen her like this for someone, the way she speaks about you. Spencer she would die if something happens to you" I gaze her "I too would die if something happens to her and you know it Aria" I feel how my voice gets deeper and stronger "I know Spen, I'm just glad that you are both alright" I hear Emily getting up and I see her coming out, she has jeans and a shirt with the hair mess up, she looks so beautiful "Well hello there sleeping beauty" I make her favorite smile, and she smiles me back "Hi you, and hi babe" I can't help to feel so happy when I see her. "Come sit with us" I get up and I pull a chair for her "What do you want to do?" I ask "How about if we go for something to eat" Aria say "sure why not" Emily say smiling "let's go and then we could go for tequila and drinks" they both turn around and kill me with their eyes "I'm just joking, you grandmothers"


End file.
